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MOM: Hey, wait a minute! That email I sent to your sister with all that insurance information has disappeared!
ME: ... *office work*
MOM: It's GONE! GONE I SAY!
ME: ... *trying to call in prescriptions*
MOM: OH GOD OH GOD I SPENT TWO HOURS ON THE PHONE LAST WEEK WORKING ON THIS AND IT'S GONE! I HAD IT ALL WRITTEN ON A PAPER AND IT WAS SHREDDED AND THE EMAIL NEVER GOT THERE AND IT'S GONE
ME: ... that's a bummer.
MOM: YES IT IS!
ME: *trying to read an article*
MOM: OH GOD I HATE MYSELF THIS IS AWFUL I AM AWFUL EVERYTHING IS AWFUL
ME: *sigh* *opens email*
MOM: NOW I HAVE TO START OVER AND--
ME: It's on the printer.
MOM: --IT'LL TAKE FOREV--what?
ME: I printed a copy just so you could have it. It's also in your sent messages folder.
MOM: It ... it is?
ME: Right there.
MOM: OH MY GOD THANK YOU!
ME: Yeah, no problem.
MOM: YOU HAVE SAVED ME!
ME: I actually just did it so you'd quit yelling.
MOM: Was I yelling?
ME: You were wailing and gnashing your teeth.
MOM: Oh. Sorry.
ME: Hey, I'd have, too, at the prospect of another two hours in the Phone Vortex.
MOM: True. I AM SO RELIEVED YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW CAN I THANK YOU
ME: You can stop yelling.
MOM: Oh, right.
And that's how I saved Mom from the Phone Vortex, at least for today. And how I got her to stop yelling at herself. It was a good day.
ME: ... *office work*
MOM: It's GONE! GONE I SAY!
ME: ... *trying to call in prescriptions*
MOM: OH GOD OH GOD I SPENT TWO HOURS ON THE PHONE LAST WEEK WORKING ON THIS AND IT'S GONE! I HAD IT ALL WRITTEN ON A PAPER AND IT WAS SHREDDED AND THE EMAIL NEVER GOT THERE AND IT'S GONE
ME: ... that's a bummer.
MOM: YES IT IS!
ME: *trying to read an article*
MOM: OH GOD I HATE MYSELF THIS IS AWFUL I AM AWFUL EVERYTHING IS AWFUL
ME: *sigh* *opens email*
MOM: NOW I HAVE TO START OVER AND--
ME: It's on the printer.
MOM: --IT'LL TAKE FOREV--what?
ME: I printed a copy just so you could have it. It's also in your sent messages folder.
MOM: It ... it is?
ME: Right there.
MOM: OH MY GOD THANK YOU!
ME: Yeah, no problem.
MOM: YOU HAVE SAVED ME!
ME: I actually just did it so you'd quit yelling.
MOM: Was I yelling?
ME: You were wailing and gnashing your teeth.
MOM: Oh. Sorry.
ME: Hey, I'd have, too, at the prospect of another two hours in the Phone Vortex.
MOM: True. I AM SO RELIEVED YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW CAN I THANK YOU
ME: You can stop yelling.
MOM: Oh, right.
And that's how I saved Mom from the Phone Vortex, at least for today. And how I got her to stop yelling at herself. It was a good day.