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bloodyrosemccoyI know you all were breathlessly on the edge of your seats waiting for me to deliver Mom’s verdict on the Twilight movie to you, so here it is: Mom pronounces it “just awful.”
She also said “This is a cultural phenomenon?” a couple of times, and spent most of the movie with the same expression she had at the end of Carousel, when it is revealed that sometimes people smack you around because they love you.
“Is the book like this?” she asked.
“Well, picture the movie, only without Mike, Crow, and Servo in the background and instead with a lot of added passages on how incredibly dazzlingly statuesque Edward is,” we told her.
“Oh, god.”
We also got to play a rousing round of Horrify The Twilight Noob with her after the movie when she innocently asked if the two ever get together and if she ever turns into a vampire.
The riff was pretty good,* which is lucky, since the movie was even worse than I expected. I seem to recall all my awful middle school crushes at least having a modicum of plot and characterization. Kids these days just don’t know what they’re missing.
*Bill “Crow T.” Corbett launching into “Yakity Sax” when Edward picks up Bella and takes off at his superspeed was perfect.
She also said “This is a cultural phenomenon?” a couple of times, and spent most of the movie with the same expression she had at the end of Carousel, when it is revealed that sometimes people smack you around because they love you.
“Is the book like this?” she asked.
“Well, picture the movie, only without Mike, Crow, and Servo in the background and instead with a lot of added passages on how incredibly dazzlingly statuesque Edward is,” we told her.
“Oh, god.”
We also got to play a rousing round of Horrify The Twilight Noob with her after the movie when she innocently asked if the two ever get together and if she ever turns into a vampire.
The riff was pretty good,* which is lucky, since the movie was even worse than I expected. I seem to recall all my awful middle school crushes at least having a modicum of plot and characterization. Kids these days just don’t know what they’re missing.
*Bill “Crow T.” Corbett launching into “Yakity Sax” when Edward picks up Bella and takes off at his superspeed was perfect.
