bloodyrosemccoy | Pirates vs. Ninjas

All right, you asked for it. Here’s the final paper I turned into my Folklore and Popular Culture class. It was an absolute blast to write, and I have to thank everyone who participated in my survey. You guys are as awesome as ninja pirates. I may have to drill a hole in my head so it doesn’t explode from cool.

In Perpetual Combat:

An Analysis of the Popularity of the Pirates vs. Ninjas Debate

When historians look back upon the political climate of America at the turn of the millennium, they will doubtless remark upon the number of diametric issues that polarized the nation: pro-life versus pro-choice, evolution versus creationism, the same-sex marriage debate. All these and many more will be mentioned as essential to characterizing the politics of the era.

Historians, however, will probably not spend a great deal of time on another popular millennial debate, even though it is known to thousands and rages on through the medium of the internet: the infamous and long-standing struggle of pirates versus ninjas.

At least since 2002, these two cultural icons, pirates and ninjas* have been pitted against each other in a fierce battle, with proponents on each side debating such aspects as which group is cooler and who would win in a real fight. It originated on the internet as just a debate, and has since inspired T-shirts, roleplays, web comics, social networking applications, school clubs, homemade movies, and reinterpretations of the icons of pirate and ninja themselves. “Pirates or ninjas?” has become a standard question for internet quizzes and personality tests, and the participants in internet culture play with it endlessly at conventions and in their social events.

So what makes this battle so long-lasting and pervasive? What force has pitted these two, specifically, against each other, and why is it such a popular subject? And what of the reasons themselves, the arguments the debaters use for and against each side—why do the often absurd arguments resonate enough to be perpetuated? Why is the ironic tone so well-loved? I set out to find out some explanation for this phenomenon, and see how this diametric debate fits into the characterization of American culture.

Ask the Internet

The fight between pirates and ninjas is ongoing, a participatory narrative. Taking Oring’s claim of a “creation of the moment” involved in folk narrative suggests that narrative reflects “current values and attitudes” (1986, 123), the continuous re-expression of the debate and the evolving paradigms reflect and up-to-the-minute assessment of values within the framework of a “timeless” struggle.

While no one knows the exact origin of the debate, it is most assuredly centered on the internet—it’s rumored to have started online at around 2002—and so I went online to learn more. I searched for websites devoted to the phenomenon, or just examples of it on other websites—they were not hard to find—and it was the internet that hosted my survey on the subject. Respondents to the survey were part of my own online social network, but as often happens word-of-mouth led a few others from an extended network that way as well. The responses are grouped on the same page as the master copy of the survey and a note saying that unless respondents indicated otherwise, I would take their participation to indicate consent to be quoted, with the option of opting out. The public responses are all available on the site labeled “Pirates vs. Ninjas – A Survey” below. As this survey was done online, respondents answered under their usernames. I have numbered them in the body of the text; the usernames can be found at the end of the document.

A note on informant sites: these are not scholarly sites, and thus are not “works cited”; I cite them as folkloric examples that are in the public domain, and follow a folkloric model in the new medium of cyberspace.

While the origins of the debate are shrouded in mystery, a study of its whys and wherefores can be pieced together from the manifestations it provides online. And a preliminary study of the two icons on their own is essential in figuring out the logic behind the pairing of these two specific icons.

Either way, before pitting the two against each other here, it’s important to see each icon in its current incarnation. Icons on their own represent certain archetypes, fears, and ideals that resonate with people. As Matthew Walker notes in his discussion of zombies, such icons give the ability to parody such cultural tropes as mindless consumerism (2006, 81). If zombies represent consumer culture, then what do pirates and ninjas represent? I have put together sketches of the associated traits of both pirates and ninjas in popular culture that may offer some clues to their role in modern folklore.

Before going into this, however, it is interesting to note that many participants in the debate will work to make a distinction between popular icons and “actual” pirates or ninjas. A few informants even went so far as to point out the difference—one mentioned “the Theme Park version” of pirates to describe the icon instead of the historical pirates (6); another said that she had no knowledge of historical ninjas (8). In short, many demonstrated awareness that, as one respondent put it, “This has only the vaguest association with historical or current real world pirates or ninjas” (7). The wild caricatures and stereotypes are not glossed over or played down, but are well-known and played with, and they show an intrinsic awareness of Walker’s concept of icons as symbols rather than “real.”

Pirates

“Gyarr. They sail the seas, attacking ships for plunder, which they squander on hookers and grog, so they sails the seas, attacking ships for plunder, which they...” – Informant 19

By all accounts, the pirate of popular culture is quite literally a sensational figure. When people describe the iconic pirate, the imagery itself is almost overpowering. The compilation painted by my informants’ description is consistently rooted in the senses: Pirates are “flamboyant” and dress in bright colors, often mismatched, wear flashing gold and jewels, and have striking visible traits. They are “loud”—they sing and shout excessively—and of course, pirates are aromatically forthright—what description of a pirate would be complete without an oblique or blatant reference to the fact that they don’t bathe very often? They are even gustatory; one informant mentioned the oft-repeated “salty” when describing their oceanic link. Even their natural habitat is sensational; the pirates most focused on are those in tropical settings (such as the Caribbean, a hot spot for pirates that inspired the Disney ride Pirates of the Caribbean and later the movie franchise of the same name) with bright sun, bright colors, exotic and flavorful food, and a climate of extreme heat and extreme storms.

Pirates themselves find sensory input to be a driving force for their actions. Their main interests are sex and heavy drinking (“hookers and grog”), two highly sensory activities. On the opposite end, they are also driven by pain—death in the hands of a pirate is reputedly slow and painful (keelhauling, marooning leading to slow death of starvation or heat, and of course their assorted weaponry—19 says “They fight with swords and cannon”), and even non-fatal wounds are messy and painful. Pirates work to avoid pain while attempting to inflict it on enemies, or captives.

These sensory motivations reflect the image of pirates as emotional, a trait which is tied in their case with caprice and irrationality. They are “party-loving” to excess. They are passionate in all moods; pirates are described as “married to the sea” in their love for it, and they are given to raging and swearing and tantrum-like behavior when angry. But the irrationality goes well beyond that. Pirates are often depicted as having idiosyncratic religions or relying on unofficial “superstitions” (Gallagher) rather than more cohesive “official” religions, seen as irrational. The superstitions are tied to the world around them, which is itself capricious and irrational—death is unpredictable and arbitrary. A pirate who is “‘wedded to the fickle sea’” (20, emphasis mine) can die in a storm, by disease, or during a pitched battle filled with confusion and uncontrolled, flailing fights—fights which may, in fact, be among pirates who were formerly comrades, making even alliances unpredictable.

Thus, this emotional/irrational tendency makes a pirate’s life one without much control. Pirates are “gentlemen of fortune,” men who make the best of the situations handed to them.

Sometimes they even actively work against rules of control. Many of my informants pointed out the democracy and lack of hierarchy on pirate ships, which is rooted in historical reality. While it cannot be said that pirates are egalitarian, they do eschew many of the rules of class—a few informants noted that pirate crews of history and popular culture are multiracial, and there are notable female pirates in both of those areas. And, of course, the whole definition of a pirate is one who flouts the rules of society in their looting and pillaging. Even smaller rules don’t apply—the rules of hygiene are famously thrown aside and perhaps actively avoided—one informant called them “rolling-in-the-dirt types” (22)—and even pirate speech ignores the rules of grammar. The free, loose, and easy lifestyle is a hallmark of piracy.

A cohesive list of rules is difficult to work out, though, as pirates are also renowned for their individuality, beyond just their mixture of race and sex. They are not only flamboyant to look at, they are also distinctive. Portrayals of pirate crews in movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean or in artwork illustrations like Howard Pyle’s or Don Maitz’s show the enormous variety of people in this genre. They display a distaste for “conformity” in their elaborately personalized appearances. First and foremost are the deliberate self-modifications: among pirates there is no dearth of scars, tattoos, distinctive hairdos, earrings, piercings, and any number of other self-modifications. But even the dramatic signs of accidental modification—missing appendages, scars, missing teeth, etc.—are personalized with accoutrements like a hookhand, a distinctive eyepatch, or gold teeth. Even pirates’ body types are wildly different (though one informant did add that this varies more for male pirates, and female pirates are usually “boob-tastic”—busty). Pirates may even distinguish themselves with exotic pets; parrots are the most popular by far, but monkeys are also popular (as mentioned by 22).

The informants who chose to side with pirates were interested in their flamboyance and their openness. As one put it, “they were open to people of all races, creeds and genders. … Also … pirates again were open to all sorts of practices, from Christianity to alcoholism.”

It must be noted that even with this mixture, however, the focus is on Western pirate culture. Even with the hodgepodge of individual backgrounds, the most prevalent style of pirate is the one dressing in fashion from 18^th-Century Europe, and pirates from non-Western societies are a distinct minority among European crews on European ships.

The recent surge in pirates’ popularity has led to a marketing phenomenon. Movies like Pirates of the Caribbean are at the fore, but pirates have become prominent in fiction (especially young adult fiction, as with Tanith Lee’s Piratica series or Kai Meyer’s Wave Walkers), video games (such as Lucasarts’ Monkey Island and Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker), and music (as with the popular Canadian band Great Big Sea, which specializes in covering historical sea chanteys). Even pirate-themed merchandise is a big seller, as a simple browse through teen fashion stores like Hot Topic will attest.

A lot of these portrayals are somewhat tongue-in-cheek; pirate portrayals may go to outright parody, such as with Gideon Defoe’s surrealist book series The Pirates! In an Adventure With …, or the homegrown holiday “Talk Like A Pirate Day”—a joke holiday invented by John Baur and Mark Summers that snagged international attention after syndicated columnist Dave Barry mentioned it in his column. The use of pirates in parody is an important factor in their struggle with ninjas, as will be shown later.

Ninjas

“If ninjas are seen, they’re doing it wrong.” – Informant 7

Unlike descriptions of pirates, descriptions of ninjas spend quite a lot of time dwelling on what isn’t there, as well as what is. Ninjas depend on stealth, and this has expanded into an almost tall-tale emphasis on sensory deprivation. The physical description of a ninja is wanting: if mentioned at all, it is to note that they wear all black, covering everything from head to toe except the eyes. But even this is not seen often; for all purposes, a ninja has superhuman powers of stealth. A popular joke is to show a picture of a setting devoid of people and assert that there are several ninjas in the picture; another common assertion is that you don’t know a ninja is there “until one or [more] persons are down on the floor dead.” (3) A joke about removing sensory input from even the most intimately sensory experience shows the lengths of the exaggeration: “Ninja sex: You don't know what just happened, but you suddenly are all mussed up and need a cigarette badly” (quoted by 6).

Ninjas seem to practice sensory deprivation on themselves as well. They work in the dark and practice a highly disciplined, ascetic lifestyle—part of their portrait as working in an elaborate system of emotionless rationality. Ninjas are formally trained in martial arts, learning to control their movements and emotions. Skills they learn include stealth and secrecy, working with a variety of weapons as well as weaponless combat, and emotional control (through meditation and similar techniques)—all of which emphasize the ninja’s work to be in control of a situation at all times. The control of emotions extends to their occupation—they are professional assassins and mercenaries, which implies that ideally they do not kill for personal, emotional reasons, but rather for money, or in response to orders.

Ninjas also follow an elaborate code of honor—one that is not well-articulated in popular culture, save for the notable fact that a lapse in this honor requires the ninja to commit seppuku, or ritual suicide. Such a strict policy shows a true dedication to these rules. (One popular parody site of a ninja fast food restaurant, Ninjaburger, makes fun of this with the claim “Guaranteed delivery in 30 minutes or less, or we commit Seppuku!” [FORGE])

This code, as well as spiritual philosophies, are also imparted by the teachers along with the martial arts training. In this way ninjas belong to a strict hierarchy, a society rife with pressure. Ninjas are part of a cohesive whole, and are not often seen as individuals. Their focus on stealth, the idea that they are not even there, effectively erases their identity; and even when they are visible, their faces are covered. The black outfit is standard; deviations are slight (dark blue or purple may be used instead of black, but the outfit itself remains the same). A ninja may favor a certain weapon, but the list of weapons is also standardized. Ninjas also remain silent, rarely giving voice to any opinions they may have.

Ironically, however, another joke points to the tendency for ninjas to be individually weaker the larger their group is—in most portrayals, while a solitary ninja is formidable, a group of ninjas is no match for a single opponent. This rule is so well-known that it has been given a name—the Inverse Ninja Law. But even with this notable exception, the lasting impression of ninjas as shown by my informants is that they lack individuality.

One interesting trait ascribed to the ninja of popular culture is super powers, or at least, as one person put it, “all kinds of ridiculous tricks with physics.” (23) Informants assert that ninjas can “walk on water,” (2) “breath [sic] underwater anytime they want,” (FORGE) and hover, and even their ability to hide borders on the supernatural. Informants do not offer much speculation as to the origin of these powers; the only attribution I’ve found is to the ninjas’ intrinsic coolness, but the references to strict training suggest that the ninjas earn these powers through their training regimens.

The surge in ninja popularity is a bit older than the pirates; it first surfaced in the 1980s, with a plethora of ninja movies (like American Ninja and the series of movies starring Sho Kosugi), comic books (which is where the the multi-media Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise began in 1984), and video games (like Ninja Gaiden). After a brief dip in the ninja craze in the 1990s, the popularity of Japanese manga series such as Naruto has helped the icon to make a comeback, and now ninjas are back in the public eye.

Like pirates, ninjas are a source of great parody. Websites like Ask a Ninja—a parody advice column-style site purportedly run by ninjas—and Ninja Burger—a fake fast-food service—are rife with ninja jokes and exaggerations. The popular webcomic Dr. McNinja is an absurdist parody of comic books themselves, and focuses heavily on ninja jokes. Ninjas are not known for it themselves, but they are certainly vehicles for satire of all sorts.

The Great Debate

So after a glance at some of the traits associated with the iconic pirate and the iconic ninja, a certain diametric becomes clear. On the one hand there are pirates—flamboyant, individualized, irrational, and emotional—and on the other hand there are ninjas—stealthy, identity-less, rational, and disciplined. It seems only natural that such obvious opposites would be pitted against each other.

Not so obvious, though, is the exact nature of the struggle. Most often it presents as a debate between people about which is “better” or “cooler,” but sometimes it’s displayed as in “in-world” feud between the icons—fake “histories” of the feud’s origin have sprung up in role-playing games like the one at Ninjas And Pirates and webcomics like Dr. McNinja. Most often, however, it is seen as a debate between people about who they identify with.

Sometimes this identification goes as far as roleplays; the debate has given rise to dozens of such games. One of the most popular applications on the social networking site Facebook is “Pirates vs. Ninjas” in which members can chose their side and do “battle” online. A similar concept is found in Ninjas and Pirates, a site that allows a similar game to be played out. One informant spotted “random people on campus holding a debate in the amphitheatre” on the subject (3).

But why would such a debate be popular in the first place? Certainly there are many pop culture icons people may identify with more than some others. Why even bother taking two—even two so understandably opposed—to the extreme of a fierce partisan debate? Why such a polarized, fiercely divisive contest between two opposites? And why does this sound … eerily familiar?

I’ll answer that last question first: it sounds familiar because it echoes a great number of pressing, “serious” issues brought forth in the current political climate. The pirate/ninja struggle was first documented soon after the 2000 presidential election—an unusually close election, with each of the two major candidates garnering 48% of the popular vote. The split between the candidates’ supporters extends to a split in other hot-button issues, like the one I mentioned above: creationism versus evolution, pro-life versus pro-choice, pro- or anti-war, and overall conservative versus liberal views. Religious and political debates run hot, putting people’s fundamental beliefs at stake and affecting social policies. They are a huge emotional investment.

In the middle of all this, though, comes a completely ludicrous debate—the battle between pirates and ninjas. Since neither pirates nor ninjas have much bearing on modern American social policy, and the only thing at stake is the nebulous concept of “coolness,” a debate like this is a safe channel for these polarized feelings—an endless, unresolved battle with no consequences in the “real” world.

But far from just a safe, simple joke, it is a very sophisticated parody. People do actively engage in the debate, offering many reasons in support of pirates or ninjas. Some of these are well-considered personal reasons having to do with whether someone identifies more with the outgoing pirates or the secretive ninjas—but most often, when the debate is in full swing or even when someone simply names their preferred side, the reasons are not the sort of reasons found in the consequential debates. Unlike the (idealized version of the) latter, the arguments presented in support of pirates or ninjas have very little factual basis to them. Reasons are exaggerative appeals to the quality of “awesomeness”—a trait is cited, then proclaimed to be intrinsically and irrefutably awesome, which is all that is needed to score a victory. An opponent must either contest the intrinsic “awesomeness” of the trait, or supply a trait for their own side that is more “awesome.” Other reasons may be superfluous and shallow—“[pirates] have niftier clothes” is one informant’s reason for preferring them (6); another pirate supporter rhetorically asked “how can anyone support a group that doesn’t sing sea shanties?” (10); a ninja supporter cited “better hygiene” along with the simple claim that “I’m not much for saying things like ‘yarr!!’” (24).

These reasons do not, however, reflect some defect of logic on the parts of the people who give them. Rather, it shows that in a parody debate, the arguments themselves are also parodies. The appeal to “awesome” reflects the emotional or moral appeals made in the “consequential” debates, and the shallow reasons given in pirate/ninja defense reflect and magnify some of the shallow arguments made in the other cases.

Logic and fact do not escape completely, however. They get caught in the parody grip as well. A list of tall-tale “facts,” such as the ones I mentioned in the ninja section, pop up in the arguments as well, a distorted reflection of the facts used to support consequential arguments. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster—a spoof on the proponents for getting creationism taught in schools—even employs pirates to spoof logical fallacies in a graph demonstrating the correlation between the decline in the number of pirates and the rise in global warming. Another clever blogger on the site Livejournal wrote a long mathematical theorem calculating the “coolness” of pirates and ninjas (“3stripesbrand”). In an empirical society that hinges so much on the objective reality of math, logic, and science, these spoofs of rationality show the way such “objective” things can be twisted in support of clearly bogus ideals.

As it is never settled, the debate also mirrors the firmly entrenched convictions of people on either side of one of the more consequential debates—only in this case it’s good news, as and end to the debate would end the fun. And as it is such an interactive parody, its popularity is deeply rooted in the way people can continue to join in and make it their own. It’s a safe debate and one that allows creativity and an outlet for frustrations, and will never be done to death as long as people continue to join it and enjoy it.

Conclusion

When analyzed in its cultural context, with an examination of what each icon represents, the pirate/ninja debate reflects a logical application of diametric opposition, and provides an outlet for the frustrations inherent in a society polarized by arguments and fatigued by a lack of resolution. The perennial battle’s lack of resolution keeps it going as long as it is needed.

* I will use the Americanized version of the plural for ninja, ninjas, instead of the original Japanese ninja. I chose this term to distinguish the American cultural icon used in the debate from the historical ninja.

Bibliography

Oring, Elliot. “Folk Narratives.” Folk Groups and Folklore Genres: An Introduction. ed. Elliot Oring. Utah: Utah State University. 1986.

Walker, Matthew. “When There’s No More Room in Hell, the Dead Will Shop the Earth: Romero and Aristotle on Zombies, Happiness, and Consumption.” The Undead and Philosophy: Chicken Soup for the Soulless. ed. Richard Green and K. Silem Mohammed. Chicago: Open Court Press, 2—6 (pp 81-89)

Informant sites

aetherial FORGE. Ninja Burger 1999-2008. http://ninjaburger.com/

aetherial FORGE. “Cold Hard Ninja Facts.” Enter the Ninja 1999-2008 http://www.entertheninja.com/

author unknown. “Ninjas and Pirates.” 2006-2007 http://www.ninjasandpirates.org/forum/

author unknown. “3stripesbrand investigates the relative coolness of pirates and ninjas” 2005. http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/2727438.html (in text as “3stripesbrand”)

Baur, John and Summers, Mark. “Talk Like A Pirate Day” 2007 http://talklikeapirate.com

Gallagher, John. “Superstitions and Symbolism.” Stepping into Books Productions. 2004http://www.steppingintobooks.com/JRogers%20Pirate%20School/N3-Superstitions.htm

Hastings, Chris. Dr. McNinja. 2003 http://drmcninja.com/

Henderson, Bobby. “Open letter to Kansas School Board.” Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 2005. http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/

Original Research

Pirates vs. Ninjas – A Survey: http://padparadscha.livejournal.com/234734.html

Notes: As this survey was done online, respondents answered under their usernames. I have numbered them in the body of the text; the usernames are as follows: