Oh, my! I DID see that when it came out! I'd completely forgotten. Explains where the seeds of this entry were planted, though.
I think they actually do have it pretty close ... for me, having to expend effort felt like failure. The idea was that my abilities were innate, so having to try meant that my intrinsic ability had FAILED me.
Praise is not completely bad--like they say, it's the type of praise, as well as the frequency--that matters. I think "You're smart" even works, but you've got to emphasize that there's more to it than that. (Although it doesn't always work. Mom tried Enrichment crap with me, and I resisted.) And too much praise starts to sound empty. You've got to reserve it for when you really mean it.
Since I started this writer's group, I've been learning more about the balance thereof. If you don't praise anything in the story at all, the person feels like there is nothing worthwhile in it; but critiques would help improve it and make the praise sound genuine. It's an interesting balance to strike.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-06-06 10:48 pm (UTC)I think they actually do have it pretty close ... for me, having to expend effort felt like failure. The idea was that my abilities were innate, so having to try meant that my intrinsic ability had FAILED me.
Praise is not completely bad--like they say, it's the type of praise, as well as the frequency--that matters. I think "You're smart" even works, but you've got to emphasize that there's more to it than that. (Although it doesn't always work. Mom tried Enrichment crap with me, and I resisted.) And too much praise starts to sound empty. You've got to reserve it for when you really mean it.
Since I started this writer's group, I've been learning more about the balance thereof. If you don't praise anything in the story at all, the person feels like there is nothing worthwhile in it; but critiques would help improve it and make the praise sound genuine. It's an interesting balance to strike.