The Mysterious Lights In The Sky

The Dome Theater at the Space Place is a lot of fun. You can see some immersive movies, which is cool, and you can see psychedelic laser shows, which is really cool, and you can simulate hanging out in various places in the universe, which is SO FUCKING COOL. So far one of the best parts of my job is showing that last feature off to school groups. First I take people on a tour of the night sky from Earth, and then we fly out into space and check out some of the interesting features of the Solar System, depending on what lesson plan the teachers order.* (Nobody ever gets to see my favorite thing, which is hanging out on Jupiter's moons, but hey, ALL FOR ME.)

There is one thing, though, that breaks the immersion far too frequently: lights.

The whole dome is a screen, and it relies on darkness. Any light from flashlights or cell phones or whatever blasts you out of the illusion of being out in space like a photon torpedo blasts you out of actual space. We generally ask people to turn that shit off, and usually they comply.

And then earlier this week I was doing a program and suddenly, projected onto the vast firmament of the glorious night sky, was this bombastic blast of flashes.

I'm not talking, like, one LED or a phone screen. It looked like someone had set their phone on casino somehow. White and pink and purple lights just splattering all over for a few seconds. And then it stopped.

I was giving a talk, so I couldn't really say "What the hell was that," but rest assured I was thinking it.

Then I'm flying them along to Pluto (everybody loves Pluto) and it happened AGAIN.

"Looks like we've got someone with some lights out there," I said. "If we could turn those off, that'd be great."

I ran through the rest of the program, watching Andromeda and Cassiopeia intermittently being drowned out by these mystery lights. Who would be so damn rude?

And then I got to the end of the presentation. I always go around to the front, both to direct people out of the theater and to chat with anyone who wants to ask a question. So I'm standing there, making polite "glad you liked it" type noises, and down the aisle prances one girl with, oh my god, the coolest shoes ever.

These shoes lit up. And not like the old-timey dull red light-up shoes I recall from back in the day. These were blasting bright, colorful lights like a damn circus marquee.

"OH," I said. "THAT'S WHAT THAT IS!"

One of the parents gave me a long-suffering look. "They're very popular right now."

And sure enough, along came another girl with the same Disneyland Parade footwear.

"I am going to have to modify my opening speech," I said.

So yes, now as part of our intro to the Dome we have to ask that kids hold their feet very still (not gonna happen), or maybe cover up their shoes with something. I always tell them that those shoes are really cool (THEY ARE**), but that they aren't so good in the dome. Don't want to be too accusatory.

Apart from those darn shoes, though, I am having way too much fun doing these presentations. We'll just have to see if that continues into next week, when I start going to schools and demonstrating Science there.


*The best is the one for second and third grade, which includes a terrifyingly up close and personal look at how Saturn's rings probably formed and ends with my HILARIOUS rendition of the myth of Perseus rescuing Andromeda from the sea monster as told through constellations.

**FUN FACT: When you type "light-up shoes" into Google, the first thing Autofill suggests is "for adults."