The Europa Report Report
Jul. 7th, 2013 12:25 amThe Basics: They went looking for stuff. And then they were surprised when they found it.
You Are About To Read A Comment About Framing Devices. Here It Comes: Europa Report runs into another trap in the mockumentary genre I claim to like so much: over-framing. The movie feels like a really long first act, with a lot of inexplicably nonlinear storytelling, crazily over-edited camera shots, and redundant narration. You know, that voiceover giving you really USEFUL information. "You're about to see a bunch of footage from the Europa mission. Here it is now. The footage, I mean. So this is the footage we were watching, too. And now you're watching it. About a trip. To Europa."
Even the exciting climax, in which ( that one thing happens, ) is immediately dulled by their ground crew PR lady helpfully summarizing what we just saw.
It would be like the buildup in the original Alien being twice as long, and then John Hurt decides to stick his face in a giant alien egg, and the facehugger springs out and gets all violatey and then--we cut to some Weyland or Yutani telling the camera, "In that fateful moment, John Hurt totally stuck his face in an alien egg zone, and then a big ugly thing jumped out and attached itself to his helmet. Boy, that sure scared us when we watched the footage! Anyway, movie's over." And then the credits roll, leaving you wondering where the rest of the story went. It was disappointing, is what I'm saying.
Robot Roll Call: It felt rather like one of any dozen 50's sci-fi B-movies featured on MST3k. Right down to the international crew's roll call. That made me laugh.
A Thing I Liked: The science was cool, though. I especially liked that the characters never turned into the hysterical idiots you usually find in these movies. They were Doing Science, dangit, and they were professionals. So refreshing.
Another Thing I Liked: There's a part when ( another thing happens. ) That was pretty excellent. But then nobody mentions it again and it doesn't really build from there, and that is disappointing.
An Actor I Liked: It's good to see the Ice Truck Killer getting work. (An ENTIRE PLANET of ice! IT IS LIKE HEAVEN!) He has a really interesting face.
Overall: I was hoping for more.
ALSO: Not even Mind-Blowing Genre-Defying Indie Movies are immune from basic movie rules. Never show anyone a photo of your loved ones back home. Unless you're feeling suicidal.
You Are About To Read A Comment About Framing Devices. Here It Comes: Europa Report runs into another trap in the mockumentary genre I claim to like so much: over-framing. The movie feels like a really long first act, with a lot of inexplicably nonlinear storytelling, crazily over-edited camera shots, and redundant narration. You know, that voiceover giving you really USEFUL information. "You're about to see a bunch of footage from the Europa mission. Here it is now. The footage, I mean. So this is the footage we were watching, too. And now you're watching it. About a trip. To Europa."
Even the exciting climax, in which ( that one thing happens, ) is immediately dulled by their ground crew PR lady helpfully summarizing what we just saw.
It would be like the buildup in the original Alien being twice as long, and then John Hurt decides to stick his face in a giant alien egg, and the facehugger springs out and gets all violatey and then--we cut to some Weyland or Yutani telling the camera, "In that fateful moment, John Hurt totally stuck his face in an alien egg zone, and then a big ugly thing jumped out and attached itself to his helmet. Boy, that sure scared us when we watched the footage! Anyway, movie's over." And then the credits roll, leaving you wondering where the rest of the story went. It was disappointing, is what I'm saying.
Robot Roll Call: It felt rather like one of any dozen 50's sci-fi B-movies featured on MST3k. Right down to the international crew's roll call. That made me laugh.
A Thing I Liked: The science was cool, though. I especially liked that the characters never turned into the hysterical idiots you usually find in these movies. They were Doing Science, dangit, and they were professionals. So refreshing.
Another Thing I Liked: There's a part when ( another thing happens. ) That was pretty excellent. But then nobody mentions it again and it doesn't really build from there, and that is disappointing.
An Actor I Liked: It's good to see the Ice Truck Killer getting work. (An ENTIRE PLANET of ice! IT IS LIKE HEAVEN!) He has a really interesting face.
Overall: I was hoping for more.
ALSO: Not even Mind-Blowing Genre-Defying Indie Movies are immune from basic movie rules. Never show anyone a photo of your loved ones back home. Unless you're feeling suicidal.