(no subject)

It's kind of embarrassing when a Cracked columnist manages to articulate my feelings about something better than I do. But that's the case here.

Gladstone manages to put a finger on why I dislike this debate--it is far too generalized. I will debate the merits of a specific joke all day if you like. When it becomes a generalized blanket statement, I don't know how to address it. It's good to know I'm not the only one.

Neighbors Are Awful

So yesterday Mom offered to help me not crash and burst into flames while I tried out my skates for the first time. So I strapped on the Safety Stuff, which is not fooling my autonomic nervous system and its RED ALERT mode at ALL, put on the skates, gingerly tried them out--

--and every single neighbor I have suddenly materialized at the end of my driveway to kibitz. Like fucking MAGIC.

I may have to do some unlearning here. I used to be able to ice skate and rollerblade without falling over and dying, but it seems that quad skates require a different balance and propulsion--just enough to confuse the hell out of me. The last time I wore quad skates it was probably those Fisher-Price blue-and-yellow jobs designed to go over your velcro'd Osh Kosh B'gosh shoes, the ones with the orange wheels that did not actually roll, and the most you could get out of them was a sort of dragging shuffle. These skates actually GO places. It is going to take some doing to figure out how to go WITH them.

I'll get it done, though. I kind of love the feeling of Getting Better With Practice. Not so much the feeling of pavement in my teeth, though--which is just added incentive to get this right.


ETA: I got the white pair of these. Which only come in men's sizes. Because nothing is manlier than rainbow-laced pink-wheeled roller skates, dammit.