Don't Get Me STARTED On Stream-Of-Consciousness

Picked up another interesting-looking book from the library, sat down to be transported to a fantastic world, glanced at the first page, and AAAARGH THE DARN THING IS IN PRESENT TENSE.

So I closed the book, slammed it against my forehead a few times, then opened it and continued reading.

Dear Authors: Please knock it off. I know it's effective in many cases, but your standard fantasy or sci-fi adventure narrative is none of those cases. In adventures, it does not make the action feel more immediate. I don't know about you, but I process past tense faster, so present tense makes things feel less immediate while I stop to figure it out. And that's annoying as hell.

Anyway, Authors, I HOPE this is just a passing phase. Because if it gets worse, I'm going to have a serious bruise on my forehead.