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Scenes from Mouseland
Oct. 18th, 2011 09:28 pmThe first thing I found out about Disneyland was possibly the weirdest, too: I have never been there, and yet I knew my way around. No, it’s not some eerie “I’ve been here before” feeling, neither. It’s because I’ve freaking played Epic Mickey. Turns out the areas in that game weren’t just kind of inspired by Disneyland—they actually matched the layout of Main Street, New Orleans Square, Tomorrowland, etc.. It was … kinda strange, frankly.
ME: I have this overwhelming urge to squirt paint everywhere.
MY BROTHER: Me too. At least we aren’t trying to use thinner.
ME: Unless we get ambushed by that rocking Phineas and Ferb truck again. I am totally willing to melt them.
---
My Favorite Spot, Unsuprisingly, Was Tomorrowland
ME: Innoventions! Dream House! I AM SO THERE!
MY BROTHER: Engineering stuff!
MY SISTER: *sad puppy eyes* Rides?
ME: THE FUTURE!
*we explore the carousel Dream House, brought to you by innovative companies of THE FUTURE buy their stuff!*
ME: Dig! Bedrooms! Of THE FUTURE!
MY BROTHER: Kitchen! Of THE FUTURE! … But where are the cake-baking robot hands?
ME: Impractical computer screen dining room table! Of THE FUTURE!
EXASPERATED CAST MEMBER: You guys realize that all this technology is available now, right?
ME: And you realize this means we’re LIVING in The Future, right?
Cast Guy was not amused. Fortunately, later we found an enthusiastic Cast Girl who was all over Living In THE FUTURE, so that’s okay.
---
I kept getting drawn toward this thing. Not to ride it, just because it’s pretty. Hundertwassery, even!
---
Now, since LucasArts and Disney are BFFs, there’s a harsh truth one must accept about the park: at some point, ( your ass WILL get whacked with a lightsaber. )
---
( Halloween At Dizney: Beware Of Orange Thing )
---
( The Haunted Mansion Manic Holiday )
---
My sister wore this previously-acquired hat all week, making her darn easy to spot. There’s a sticker on the front with Peter Pan on it, which she touched up with a ballpoint pen at some point. The painstakingly written “FUCK YEAH” on it became a problem when we discovered that everyone in the universe wanted her hat. Guess they don’t make them anymore. They’d ask to examine it, and she always swept it off with a flourish so that her hand covered the sticker.
---
My linguist powers tell me this is a pretty straightforward cipher. Hell, if you cross your eyes, you can read it.
This was part of the Indiana Jones ride, which my sister's buddy insisted we go on. Turns out she had good reason. Dang what a fun ride.
---
ME: Say, what have we here? Looks like somebody went to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.
SMALL PRINCESS: I did! And my fairy godmother helped me with my hair!
ME: That explains the sparkles, all right. Say, Dude, why don’t you go to the Boutique?
MY BROTHER: Because I’m wearing a hat.
ME: Nonsense. I for one completely support your transformation into Princess Sparklebeard.
MY BROTHER: Well, I would look good in a tiara.
---
( These Are Definitely For Holding Toothpicks )
STORE GUY: You have a point. … I see you also bought a Mickey shirt.
ME: I couldn’t find an Oswald one.
---
And, alas, that was my one regret for the trip. An Oswald shirt is even more elusive than a happy Donald shirt. But if that’s the one tragedy of the trip, then I’d say it was darn successful!
ME: I have this overwhelming urge to squirt paint everywhere.
MY BROTHER: Me too. At least we aren’t trying to use thinner.
ME: Unless we get ambushed by that rocking Phineas and Ferb truck again. I am totally willing to melt them.
---
My Favorite Spot, Unsuprisingly, Was Tomorrowland
ME: Innoventions! Dream House! I AM SO THERE!
MY BROTHER: Engineering stuff!
MY SISTER: *sad puppy eyes* Rides?
ME: THE FUTURE!
*we explore the carousel Dream House, brought to you by innovative companies of THE FUTURE buy their stuff!*
ME: Dig! Bedrooms! Of THE FUTURE!
MY BROTHER: Kitchen! Of THE FUTURE! … But where are the cake-baking robot hands?
ME: Impractical computer screen dining room table! Of THE FUTURE!
EXASPERATED CAST MEMBER: You guys realize that all this technology is available now, right?
ME: And you realize this means we’re LIVING in The Future, right?
Cast Guy was not amused. Fortunately, later we found an enthusiastic Cast Girl who was all over Living In THE FUTURE, so that’s okay.
---
I kept getting drawn toward this thing. Not to ride it, just because it’s pretty. Hundertwassery, even!
---
Now, since LucasArts and Disney are BFFs, there’s a harsh truth one must accept about the park: at some point, ( your ass WILL get whacked with a lightsaber. )
---
( Halloween At Dizney: Beware Of Orange Thing )
---
( The Haunted Mansion Manic Holiday )
---
My sister wore this previously-acquired hat all week, making her darn easy to spot. There’s a sticker on the front with Peter Pan on it, which she touched up with a ballpoint pen at some point. The painstakingly written “FUCK YEAH” on it became a problem when we discovered that everyone in the universe wanted her hat. Guess they don’t make them anymore. They’d ask to examine it, and she always swept it off with a flourish so that her hand covered the sticker.
---
My linguist powers tell me this is a pretty straightforward cipher. Hell, if you cross your eyes, you can read it.
This was part of the Indiana Jones ride, which my sister's buddy insisted we go on. Turns out she had good reason. Dang what a fun ride.
---
ME: Say, what have we here? Looks like somebody went to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.
SMALL PRINCESS: I did! And my fairy godmother helped me with my hair!
ME: That explains the sparkles, all right. Say, Dude, why don’t you go to the Boutique?
MY BROTHER: Because I’m wearing a hat.
ME: Nonsense. I for one completely support your transformation into Princess Sparklebeard.
MY BROTHER: Well, I would look good in a tiara.
---
( These Are Definitely For Holding Toothpicks )
STORE GUY: You have a point. … I see you also bought a Mickey shirt.
ME: I couldn’t find an Oswald one.
---
And, alas, that was my one regret for the trip. An Oswald shirt is even more elusive than a happy Donald shirt. But if that’s the one tragedy of the trip, then I’d say it was darn successful!
