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Fukitoff Theater Tries For A Finale
Jan. 16th, 2009 02:29 pmSo, as of the last few days, I am totally off the Fukitol for now!
That’s right. I am no longer taking it at all. And ye gods, is it pissed. I just had another spectacular succession of dreams last night—back-to-school dreams, driving dreams, space travel, and everyone’s favorite recurring dream motif, the Joker.
Only this time, he wasn’t getting control of things he should never get control of.* No, tonight it was all about him wondering what to get Batman for his birthday.** After a long time spent agonizing, it finally occurred to him that what Batman really wants is Gotham’s criminals off the streets—so, ever-helpful, the Joker busted into the middle of one of Two-Face’s bank jobs, foiled it, trussed Harv up, gift-wrapped him, and stuffed him into the back of the Jokermobile. He wanted to deliver him to Batman’s front porch, but he didn’t actually know where that was, so instead he drove his somewhat surly present (“Sorry, Harv”) up to some random boys’ prep school and started indiscriminately slaughtering everyone there to get Batman’s attention.
*It’s gotten so we’ve started a list. To which we need to add "tattoo ink manufacturers." That was not a good day for the redshirts in my head.
**Not actually as farfetched as it sounds if you take into account my theory that the Joker actually considers Bats his best friend. Come on, it makes sense for the way he talks about Bats, how he's always trying to play with him to the point where he drops all his other supervillain pals, and how he does give him presents at Christmas. More farfetched, however, is the idea that he’d know when Bats’ birthday is. Perhaps I was mistaken and it was, like, the anniversary of the time Batman scared him into that big vat of Chemicals. WHICH HE DOES IN FACT CELEBRATE.
That’s right. I am no longer taking it at all. And ye gods, is it pissed. I just had another spectacular succession of dreams last night—back-to-school dreams, driving dreams, space travel, and everyone’s favorite recurring dream motif, the Joker.
Only this time, he wasn’t getting control of things he should never get control of.* No, tonight it was all about him wondering what to get Batman for his birthday.** After a long time spent agonizing, it finally occurred to him that what Batman really wants is Gotham’s criminals off the streets—so, ever-helpful, the Joker busted into the middle of one of Two-Face’s bank jobs, foiled it, trussed Harv up, gift-wrapped him, and stuffed him into the back of the Jokermobile. He wanted to deliver him to Batman’s front porch, but he didn’t actually know where that was, so instead he drove his somewhat surly present (“Sorry, Harv”) up to some random boys’ prep school and started indiscriminately slaughtering everyone there to get Batman’s attention.
Unfortunately, the dream segued into some boring new School Anxiety sequence before Batman could show up, so I never found out what happened. But I have to admit, I’m sorta intrigued now. If only my subconscious knew how to end stories, this would have been one of the coolest dreams ever.
And yes, feel free to come up with an ending if you want.*It’s gotten so we’ve started a list. To which we need to add "tattoo ink manufacturers." That was not a good day for the redshirts in my head.
**Not actually as farfetched as it sounds if you take into account my theory that the Joker actually considers Bats his best friend. Come on, it makes sense for the way he talks about Bats, how he's always trying to play with him to the point where he drops all his other supervillain pals, and how he does give him presents at Christmas. More farfetched, however, is the idea that he’d know when Bats’ birthday is. Perhaps I was mistaken and it was, like, the anniversary of the time Batman scared him into that big vat of Chemicals. WHICH HE DOES IN FACT CELEBRATE.
