Movie Night With Dad And Doris

Mom’s off helping the little sister move back from school, so for the last few days it’s been just me and Dad at home.  It’s an unusual dynamic—the two people with the Aspberger’s personalities—but we seem to be doing well.

 

Last night I went downstairs to see what he was laughing at on TV, and he was watching Lewis Black and holding the Doris Day and Rock Hudson (and really, Rock Hudson? It sounds like a wrestler or a porn star!) collection.  “I didn’t know you were coming down,” he said. “I was going to put one of these in.”

 

At the next commercial break he disappeared upstairs, and after quite a while reappeared with two bowls of popcorn. “Want to watch?”

 

Now, I sorta hate Doris Day. Her comedies are weird and unfunny and the music’s terrible. But Dad had just made me popcorn and invited me to join him! What the hell else was there to say? “Sure!”

 

And so we watched Lover Come Back—and by god, that’s the weirdest movie I’ve ever seen. It was mind-blowing. It was funny for reasons never intended by the writers and producers, and the parts that were supposed to be funny just … well, one of the most spectacular WTF moments was when Doris and Rock (Rock!), who thus far have been sworn enemies, wake up in a motel room after accidentally getting blasted drunk and find they’re married. Doris is horrified; sleazy Rock is sorta impressed, and so you get Doris screaming “GET AWAY FROM ME!” and Rock shouting, “Now, you’re my wife and you have to do as I say!”—and outside two older hotel maids overhear Doris’s screams and misunderstand and smile knowingly at each other.  Oh, these kids and their spousal rape! Takes you back, don’t it, Edith?

 

PLAYED FOR LAUGHS.

 

I gotta admit, though, that stuff does interest me from the anthropologist’s perspective.  The things they take for granted, the things they assume you’ll laugh at (which seem very culturally-dependent), the way filmmakers’ sympathies land—it’s all pretty bizarre.  Dad kept cracking up at the way everyone in the movie would just pound down hard liquor like it was Kool-Aid, and I was laughing at the way they set up the Having A Baby scene at the end.* And we both thought it was even less believable than your usual romantic comedy.  (“This is a romance the same way Twilight is a romance!”)

 

So we enjoyed it in a slightly MST3k style, and had a pretty good time despite the insane movie. Now we get to figure out another for tonight.

 

Maybe I’ll steer him clear of Doris Day.  We do have that nice Alfred Hitchcock boxed set.  At least Marnie wasn’t played for laughs …

 

 

*Don’t ask. Seriously.  Do not ask.

Advent Calendar ~ Day 6!

Happy St. Nicholas Day, dudes!

 

6. Favourite gifts received as a child?

 

This one’s a tossup, and it’s more a series than any single gift.

 

The first is definitely The Dolls.  The first one was Molly, the WWII American Girl Doll.*  I was eight years old and someone invited me to an American Girl Fashion Show, and I had never heard of AG.  They were premiering Addy and she was gorgeous and I immediately wanted all the dolls. For Christmas I got the starter collection, and my sister got Felicity. I dragged that damn doll everywhere, made her a bed next to mine, and spent most of the rest of my life scheming as to how I could get her all set up. I think it’s when I got her bed and set it up in my room that I was completely doomed.

 

There were other dolls and other years, but Molly was the one who started it.  The year I got Laurel, I had discovered where Mom hid the toys.  I would sneak in and peek in the box and know she was in the closet waiting for Christmas.

 

The second awesome gift series would have to be the Nintendo stuff.  Santa got us the state-of-the-art Super NES one year and it was SO DAMN COOL.  I later found out this was the machinations of Dad, who convinced Mom that it wouldn’t stunt our creativity. He was also behind the Great Battle To Try To Find The N64, which we were absolutely dying for because by then we were savvy gamers aged 11, 10, and 7 and we knew it was all revolutionary and shit. I think they got so desperate they had to call Gramma up in Cheyenne to go find one and overnight it to us or something. But it was worth it because HOLY SHIT 3D MARIO.

 

I always associate video game binges with Christmas for just that reason.

 

 

*People have asked me why I chose Molly. I admit it was a tossup between her and Addy—Addy had just come out and was damn cool, but Molly had glasses.  Also Molly’s time parallelled my grandmother’s and I was intrigued by how people lived on the home front during WWII.  But really, it’s because Molly had goddamn glasses.