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Politics with Dad is an interesting experience.

 

Now, as y’all know, The Brain Is A Mysterious Organ, capable of astounding feats of plasticity* and unique to each individual, a great nebulous vessel of consciousness that works in sometimes uncertain ways.

 

However, even though the media’s always telling you this, the brain is consistent enough that one’s behavior can give you a pretty good idea where something has gone wrong.  This works best with white male adults, who for some reason have been studied the most.

 

Hey! Guess which group also seems to be at the forefront of politics!

 

So with Dad, watching the news can easily turn into a fascinating exercise to actually see whose brain is working.  He has a very good explanation of John F. Kennedy’s motor reactions to being shot from a neurological standpoint, and has correctly diagnosed tumors from news reports of People Acting Crazy.  He had Bob Novak pinned for months before it was announced, and has even taken guesses as to the progress, size, and location of the thing.

 

And now he’s on to the presidential candidates.

 

Obama, y’all will not be surprised to hear, seems to be pretty with it. Even before you find out he’s got a Plan and that he’s articulate and seems to have the scheming political savvy of Lex Luthor,** you will notice that he seems to be aware of what is going on around him, and is able to adapt to new situations and quickly think through answers. This is sort of sad, but when compared to his opponent, “Can tell what is happening” starts to become an actual criterion you’ve got to look for, instead of just one you’ve assumed.

 

Because as Dad has scrutinized John McCain, he’s started coming to a rather unnerving conclusion: as far as he can make out John McCain is actually going senile.

 

He’s got evidence and everything. Not remembering even a ballpark estimate for how many houses you have is a bit of a bad sign, for starters.  He’s also seeing instances of apraxia—a bit of a communications disruption in the nerves that make it hard for someone to do shit like, say, putting together care packages for hurricane victims. The temper might also be a clue, since often people who are slipping are somewhat aware when they do slip up, and losing your temper is a very good distraction from that.  Even his VP pick has made us suspicious, though that’s a lot more based on speculation than observation.

 

You hear some interesting reasons for voting—economical reasons, environmental, values, and the dumb ones like attractive or race or sex or age, but neurological, if it shows up at all, is part of one of those. In this family, it gets a lot more attention. I realize we haven’t made a very solid diagnosis, but every reason to vote for someone is based on assumptions anyway (“Will he keep his promise?” “Does he really hold these values?” “Can he tell left from right?”), and I’d say of all the things we might want to look into, this one’s at the top.

 

 

Oh, and as a nod to karjack , allow me to add that OBAMA WILL LOWER TAXES!  Beat that!

 

 

*Remind me sometime to tell you about the classmate of mine who performed her own version of the Disappearing Pencil Trick!  Dad helped explain her, too, when I complained about how goddamn annoying she was: “Well, that sounds an awful lot like someone with frontal lobe damage.  Has this girl ever had any injuries that you know of?”  FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK. This didn’t actually make her annoy me any less, but it did help me control my reactions around her.

 

**Although not, I hope, the Pure Evil.

Another One Gone

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