They Are Ugly. There. I Said It.

Valentine's Day
Ferris Wheel Day
Anniversary - League of Women Voters
National Have A Heart Day
Race Relations Day
Admission Day (Arizona)
Admission Day (Oregon)
Extraterrestrial Culture Day (New Mexico)

 

Normally I’m pretty indifferent to Valentine’s Day, aside from a passing annoyance that it is society’s way of telling me that my singleness makes me sad.* But I’m glad it’s here, because that means I don’t have to see any more commercials for those damn big jewelers encouraging you** to celebrate your socially mandated heterosexual monogamy by giving your significant other an enormous wad of diamonds! Otherwise you will FAIL AT LOVE.

 

Contrary to their declaration that all women always love diamonds all of the time, if I ever get one of those ugly chunks from a significant other, it will be a bad sign for the relationship.  Someone who gets me a wad o’ diamonds clearly does not know me at all, and must perforce be educated.

 

 

*Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have noticed.

 

**Men.