Dear Bushies,

Eat it!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,

~ Amelia

Brain Of Terror

Abet and Aid Punsters Day
Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day
National Parents As Teachers Day
X-ray Discovery Day
Admission Day (Montana)

 

Last night, at about 4 in the morning, I had what I believe was a panic attack.

 

It wasn’t much of one. I’ve been on both sides of a panic attack—been the panicking one and the one who has to hang onto the panicking one and ground them—and I know they can be worse. But it definitely felt panicky. I was just lying in bed drifting along, and then suddenly there was an adrenalin surge and the bottom fell out of my gut, and all of a sudden I MIGHT GET A BAD GRADE IN JAPANESE AND THEN MY GPA WOULD FALL AND I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO GO TO KENYA AND THE WORLD WOULD END!

 

When you have a panic attack, the actual thing you panic about can be pretty silly.

 

Every time I freak out, there’s always a small part of my mind* that takes on the role of Moe in The Three Stooges, smacking the others and admonishing them to “Snap outta it.” That one was noticing my pitiful reason for panic, and commenting that I was being an utter moron. But the rest of me wouldn’t calm down until I ate a Pop Tart, so I did that, took a few deep breaths, reassured myself that I’m doing all right in Japanese, and went to sleep.

 

Then I dreamed I was working at a pizza and cake restaurant where people kept placing their orders and then forgetting their babies at the counter, so I’d have to be carrying cakes and pizzas down a long cavernous hallway to where the people were waiting in their boats** and there would be this kid in a stroller, and the only people working with me were a bunch of five-year-old girls who were playing Fairy Princess Dressup.

 

We do not have to go to crackpots like Freud to figure out that my panic attack followed me even into my dreams. Bastard.

 

Damn side effects have been spikin’ lately, and I think this was just one more. They do that sometimes, so I’m not too worried, but I’m gonna keep an eye on this anyway.

 

 

*The right occipital lobe.

 

**Yes, boats.