If They Amputate, I'll Have A Jump Start On A Pirate Costume

Special Olympics Day
Independence Day (Colombia)
Marine Day (Japan)

 

Tomorrow* I get to go to the skin doctor and tell him that a) I have not shaved in some weeks, and b) usually razor burn does not lend itself to comparisons involving the phrase “uncooked hamburger.”

 

I will then invite him to try his diagnosis again.

 

And anyone else who spams me with miracle cures for skin problems in 10 easy payments will be summarily reported to the LJ staff, then cursed to the 47^th Circle of Heck, where the standard procedure for any skin affliction, including mosquito bites, is being dunked repeatedly in huge vats of lye until you are itching like a mofo, then being flayed by the local demon, who we will just call “Buffalo Bill.”

 

The same goes for anyone spamming me with miracle cures for pangolins.

 

 

*Actually later today, but I firmly believe that “tomorrow” means “after you’ve had your night’s sleep.”

45 Smash Pages! Plus Other Features!

Behold!

The funniest comic book cover EVER.

That this seems to be Issue #2 is especially intriguing. What is Issue #1 like, I wonder?