At Least I'm Not Allergic To Boyfriends

Gemini Begins
"I Need a Patch for That" Day
National Waitstaff Day
Rogation Sunday ((Christian)
Rural Life Sunday
Soil Stewardship Sunday
UN Work Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and development
Anniversary - American Red Cross
Neighbor Day (Rhode Island)
Teacher's Day (Fla)

 

Found while wandering through LiveJournal, these are the work of somebody called patsyrant. They made me laugh.

 

Top Five Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Boyfriends

1.) Cats never come home stinking of someone else's cheap cologne. They may come home stinking, but never of cheap cologne.

2.) Cats are always willing to play the "smell my finger" game.

3.) Cats don't give you stubble rash or unconvincing excuses.

4.) Cats leave tv-watching decisions up to you, unless Julie Andrews is involved.

5.) Cats are unlikely to shatter your pelvic bone should they jump onto your lap.

 

Top Five Reasons Why Boyfriends Are Better Than Cats

1.) Boyfriends stroke you back.

2.) Boyfriends occasionally buy you dinner.

3.) Boyfriends don't usually require a litter tray.

4.) Boyfriends don't usually insist on supervising proceedings every time you use the loo.

5.) A love token from a boyfriend does not usually take the form of a small mangled corpse.

 

Top Five Reasons Why Cats And Boyfriends Are Indiscernible From Each Other

1.) Should you decide to settle down with a good book for a while, both will instantly take it upon themselves to prevent said activity by any means necessary.

2.) Both believe very firmly that they and they alone should determine who sleeps where on the bed.

3.) Both are liable to disappear for days on end, yet would be most indignant if you chose to do the same.

4.) At your moment of greatest emotional need, both are likely to respond with a blank stare or a request for food.

5.) Prolonged physical contact with either will inevitably result in you picking hair out of your teeth.