bloodyrosemccoy | Mario Solar System (Reply)

Congress Assembles Day
Drinking Straw Day
Memento Mori
Birthday - J.R.R. Tolkien (author)
Admission Day (Alaska)

I am the world’s most methodical gamer. Last night I beat Super Mario Galaxy with all 105 possible stars I could get the first time through, after a few days of seriously intensive gaming. It’s an absolutely rockin game, and I came away with exactly two complaints:

That Nintendo could not be buggered to use the correct name for a system of planetoids—namely, “system.” They’re called “galaxies,” which sounds cooler but is inaccurate—and given that you get a pretty accurate Carl Sagan-y lecture in there about how the dust from supernovae forms new stars and people, and they have some good comet stuff in there too, I’m sure that was a deliberate misnomer, which is obnoxious.
That they did not name the Rollerball Gizmo Galaxy the Fucking Impossible Galaxy, because that shit is fucking impossible.

Other than that, damn I love this game. Since I seem to be in the mood for bullet-points lately, I will now present my comments in the same fashion.

Somebody from Rare, Ltd. worked on this game. Not only did it have the Rare tradition of six hundred different things to collect, it also had some very Donkey Kong/Banjo-Kazooie moments: the honeycombs, bouncy power-ups, and even a witch battle. I half-expected Mario to turn into a pumpkin at some point.
Orchestral music and sci-fi sound effects together rule. It has a very childlike sci-fi feel to it, which I quite like. (It even had a few points reminiscent of Star Fox, which I’ll swear they did on purpose.)
The mind-destroying gravity is brilliant and innovative, and a good use of 3D and quick processing. I’d like to scan people’s brains when they’re doing some of those puzzles. Whoever came up with the motion sensor minigames, however, can go die in a box.
Apparently, penguins, bees, and coconuts are the pinnacle of evolutionary survival, as they seem to be all over the universe.
Somebody should probably start medicating Charles Martinet.
The story Rosalina reads is lovely. I guess it’s gotten some criticism for having little to do with the plot, but who cares? It’s a cool story.
Has anyone else noticed that the Mario villains are getting more ambitious? It started with Bowser trying to kidnap the princess, then he started kidnapping the princess and turning Yoshis into eggs, and then suddenly all these villains show up to TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE. Or destroy it. Or both.
I hate Baby Bowser. With a fiery passion. HATE. I hate his squeaky little voice, his beady little eyes, and his existence in any game other than Yoshi’s Island and maybe Partners in Time. He has supplanted the Koopa Kids, who I love,* and become the lame-ass mini-Bowser. I hope he crashes into the sun and burns up in a flaming greaseball.
On the other hand, re-add Bowser himself to my List Of Video Game Characters Who I Inexplicably Find Sexy Which Probably Indicates That There’s Something Wrong With Me. He is in there with Ocarina-Ganondorf, Sheik, Telma, SNES General Pepper, and Geno.
The ending for this one is satisfactory, much more so than “Have some cake, Mario.” You will not complain at the end of this game.

*My guess? Bowser’s ex-wife finally got custody. Baby Bowser is a freak cloning accident, and she feels the same way about him as I do.