A Damper

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Armed Forces Day
May Ray Day
Anniversary - Boys' Clubs
Birthday - Malcolm X (civil rights activist)
Birthday - Pete Townsend (musician)
Youth and Sports Day (Turkey)

 

So I got a call from my brother this evening, and it appears that my grandmother is dying.

 

I didn’t get a lot of the details. My grandmother has been dying for most of my life, but I guess now she’s dying harder: she has a Thing on her back.  I don’t know what it is, but she’s paraplegic now, and I guess doing very poorly.  Mom’n’Dad are gearing up to go to Wyoming to, well, to be in Wyoming with her.

 

And that’s all.  I’m not sure why I haven’t reacted beyond that. I never really bonded with Grandma, and have always run a spectrum of indifferent bordering on irked with her.  So it may just be that there’s nothing to react to.  Or it hasn’t sunk in yet. Or something.

 

What I’m mainly thinking about now is Dad.  I don’t know how he’ll react. He’s very closed about his family, although sometimes you get hints of his relationships with them: he and his mom would watch Star Trek every Thursday, she wouldn’t drive him on his paper route,* her spaghetti recipe, trips to the cabin.  But that’s all very … past. Mom’s past seems lively and real; Dad’s is remote and almost dreamlike. I don’t really understand him and Grandma in the present. And he has that emotionless doctor cast to him … Dad’s a lot more difficult to read than Mom. You can do it, but it takes a lot of translating.

 

And it’s hard to respond to it.

 

I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

 

 

*The most classic When I Was Your Age paper route ever, replete with old bicycle and several feet of snow.

Comments

[chibicharibdys.livejournal.com]

I felt much the same way when my grandfather died around this time last year.

[bean-bunny.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear. I hope it works out for you.

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

Best of luck. With my grandmother's death, as well, I felt less of a need to grieve than to be supportive of the family members who were very close to her-- especially my mom and my cousin.

[viizou.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry...
I can relate to not knowing how to react in this situation.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

I'm very sorry to hear that. It's never easy to figure out exactly how to deal with the death of a grandparent, or how best to be supportive of their child in that process. Focusing on rewarding past events seems to be something that can help, for a time. If you want to talk about the similar though obviously at least slightly different situations we're going through, you know how to reach me.