For some reason, your post made me google "self-hating Jew". I dunno, I saw a link (albeit very tenuous) between this concept and that of "self-hating women".
Now, I'm not saying you (or I, for that matter) are self-hating women. But I am acknowledging that sometimes, the concept of "being a girl" (which I intuitively think is different from that of "being a woman") can be complex to deal with nowadays.
When I was little, I used to think of males as being "the norm" and women as being "other". In other words, flat-chested with short hair was normal, and long hair with breasts was different (I was too young to attach importance to the other differences - I was aware of them but, if it was hidden by clothes, it wasn't important to me). And even today, although I'm very much in touch with my femininity, I find I'm still ambivalent about a lot of things, and tend to aspire to "male" stereotypes.
For example, if I walk past a group of the Montreal equivalent of Valley Girls (trust me, they exist), I will roll my eyes and be filled with misogynistic feelings. On the other hand, when an outspoken, very confident girl enters my predominantly male circle of friends, my first instinct will be jealousy - even though, in principle, I admire strong women. I pride myself on having "male" hobbies, like video games and comics - yet I don't want to be seen as a tomboy.
And so, I find I'm going through life doing this weird balancing act. I cut my hair very short years ago - and then I started wearing skirts all the time. These days, I've gone back to wearing jeans and more androgynous clothing - but I've been growing my hair out. And it seems like, every day, I switch between a cheerful, sweet, "girly" persona, and a more authoritative "boyish" persona.
I'm not saying this is a new thing, or even a bad thing. I've always been a fan of hybridity. But the fact that I'm aware of it means the stigma against girliness is still very much present.
Sorry if this is rambly, it's very late and I can't sleep.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-01-20 08:51 am (UTC)Now, I'm not saying you (or I, for that matter) are self-hating women. But I am acknowledging that sometimes, the concept of "being a girl" (which I intuitively think is different from that of "being a woman") can be complex to deal with nowadays.
When I was little, I used to think of males as being "the norm" and women as being "other". In other words, flat-chested with short hair was normal, and long hair with breasts was different (I was too young to attach importance to the other differences - I was aware of them but, if it was hidden by clothes, it wasn't important to me). And even today, although I'm very much in touch with my femininity, I find I'm still ambivalent about a lot of things, and tend to aspire to "male" stereotypes.
For example, if I walk past a group of the Montreal equivalent of Valley Girls (trust me, they exist), I will roll my eyes and be filled with misogynistic feelings. On the other hand, when an outspoken, very confident girl enters my predominantly male circle of friends, my first instinct will be jealousy - even though, in principle, I admire strong women. I pride myself on having "male" hobbies, like video games and comics - yet I don't want to be seen as a tomboy.
And so, I find I'm going through life doing this weird balancing act. I cut my hair very short years ago - and then I started wearing skirts all the time. These days, I've gone back to wearing jeans and more androgynous clothing - but I've been growing my hair out. And it seems like, every day, I switch between a cheerful, sweet, "girly" persona, and a more authoritative "boyish" persona.
I'm not saying this is a new thing, or even a bad thing. I've always been a fan of hybridity. But the fact that I'm aware of it means the stigma against girliness is still very much present.
Sorry if this is rambly, it's very late and I can't sleep.