BUT CAN I SQUAREDANCE?

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Hey there! Are you a prepubescent girl wondering about the strange and confusing changes you’re going through? Do you need the most useless, incomplete, and patronizing advice possible? Well, look no further: the 1950’s is there for you. For example, did you know you get chills and catch cold if you go swimming the first couple of days of your period?

Other highlights: completely pointless drawing of the left hip as part of the lesson, an ‘ukulele, the assertion that it’s more important than ever to look your best on your period,* Giant Death Pads and The Contraption They Hook Up To, and the creepiest single line ever delivered by a 50's educational film dad. Dude, that is a high bar.

Also, I’m assuming they’re all human, but every single person in this film acts strangely enough that they sail into Uncanny Valley.

I want to say, it's not actually as terrible as it could be for one of these shorts. At least you get the basics.

And yes, I found this because the Rifftrax dudes took on this short, which was howlingly funny even though they did skip the actual sex ed lesson. Buncha prudes.


*That’s not even anathema to my own thinking. That’s just inexplicable.

Comments

[baby-rissa-chan.livejournal.com]

Yes, but did you follow some of the links for related videos? I find this two part video especially...interesting...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHZEOweeoaE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD-TG5_uF18&feature=related

[viizou.livejournal.com]

Ewwww... That is definitely the creepiest father-daughter moment ever.

[chairman-wow.livejournal.com]

Well, at least it explains some basic biology and how to use a pad/tampon! XD Though I'm still trying to figure out the swimming thing. Will you get a chill... in you uterus?

And wow, yes, that is a creepy line even for an educational film father.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I thought--it actually showed pads and tampons onscreen, and gave a short overview of the whole process. More than I expected, though it still didn't address some of the nattier problems and stuck to Your Period without touching on some of the other things that happen during puberty. Perhaps rampant horniness or hair in weird places were saved for other films.

[chairman-wow.livejournal.com]

Well, they do briefly touch on the hair bit, I think. I want to see an old educational film that tries to address the problem of rampant horniness; I'm sure the euphemism would be amazing.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, a bit ... "Oh, and hair will grow. In places. Wear deodorant."

There are a few that deal with things that MIGHT include rampant horniness ... There's one called "How Much Affection?" where a girl panics because she almost did ... something ... that would have gone too far? ... with her boyfriend and then she and he both sit around considering their classmate who dropped out and had to get married to take care of a baby and how much her life sucks. Mom also lectures heavily in that one.

There's also one about how to date the Right Kind Of Girl that has a tiny aside on THOSE GIRLS who "park in cars with boys." The narrator notes that such things make them undesirable and then is silent on the subject forever.

[wendyzski.livejournal.com]

Mom: Well sit down and tell me about it
Molly: Aaaargh cramps aaargh my boobs hurt hormone RAAAAGE!!!

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

The menstruating girl wasn't at risk only if she dared to swim; she was actually much more delicate and fragile all around, and had to guard her health. They seemed to think that the immune system was keyed to the state of the uterus.

I think the 'look your best' thing was to cheer up the girls; between the cramps and the Giant Death Pads, one tended to mope about. Also, it acted as a warning flag- "Dude, Susan has her best dress on and is wearing lipstick; she must be on the rag. Watch you don't make her mad!"

They still had those same movies (and related booklets) in the 60s. They were enough to scar a girl for life.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Huh, so it's like the tiara is now.

Yeah, your period is just another example of your delicate flower-ness. Hell, I got those old videos in the 90s. I also got 90s videos, which honestly weren't much better.

[michellerz.livejournal.com]

"Why does it happen every month, Mom?"
"Oh, I don't know, it's all just part of being a woman, I suppose."
Really, mom? That's all?

Interestingly enough, I was never excited for it to happen to me. I was terrified. And rightly so, I think. :-P

P.S. Your icon WINS EVERYTHING OMG.
"Did you know I'm riding this horse backwards?" XD

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I took it in stride. Mom warned me it'd happen one day, and after a while I mastered the logistics pretty good.

As for the icon? Snagged it from bottledgoose! Mostly because I love his monologue so much I always have to rewind the commercial like five times before I move on.

[michellerz.livejournal.com]

I maaaaayyyy have to snag that icon from you then, if you don't mind. ^_^

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Oh, I never responded to this, but if you haven't already snagged the icon, go for it!

[nobleplatypus]

As soon as I saw your subject line, I KNEW. XD Man, that short was hilarious.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, when that list of dos and don'ts came up I guffawed so hard I scared my brother AND the cat!

Our riffin' heroes leave out a good three minutes of the nurse's lesson. I would have liked to see them tackle the Female Reproductive System (HURRRR).

Also, I'm glad they brought up the 'ukulele, because if they weren't going to, I was. (Perhaps the armadillo plays it?)