In Ur Blog, Strunkin Ur Grammar

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Or: Try To Keep Up With The Acronyms

Scene: The office.  MOM is taking a look at AMELIA'S blog, and gets to the entry titled "I Has a Hank."

MOM: I'll bet people get annoyed when you write "I has."

AMELIA: ... What?

MOM: You did it again here.  "I also has a book."  People will think you mean "I have" and it's a typo.

AMELIA: They won't.  It's ... it's something you say on the internet.  It's netspeak.

MOM: They won't think you're stupid and that you can't use your own language properly?

AMELIA: On the internet, "proper use of language" has an entirely different meaning.


I'm glad she dropped it at that.  I was worried she'd ask what that meaning was, and then I'd have to delve into a long explanation of macro-inspired internet idioms and lolcats and I'm in ur [noun], [verb]in ur [noun]z, and finally I was going to have to break it to her that OMGWTFBBQBACONZORS!!11!1! is a recognizable interjection as far as the internet is concerned.  My mom is cool, but I don't think she's ready for that yet.

She'd be all, O_o.

And she wouldn't have any idea how to express that, either.

Comments

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

Lolcatspeek is something that cannot be explained, only experienced. *g*

[luinmir.livejournal.com]

That's the best lolcat EVER, by the way.

[kjpepper.livejournal.com]

OMGWTFBBQBACONZORS!!11!1!

ROFL *tries to envision explaining netspeak to my dad* *headsplode*

[shadesofmauve]

:P facepalm.

[luinmir.livejournal.com]

ince my sister and I fairly consistently use some of the more bizarre forms of netspeak in everyday locution, I think my mom might just take it in stride as one of those things. Either that, or she blocks us out entirely.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I just LOVE it when that slips out. When you yell "WTF?" aloud or at the dinner table ask "I can has potatoes now?"

My sister ends things with "-zors." It annoys my parents but amuses the hell out of me.

[chibicharibdys.livejournal.com]

IM IN UR JURNAL RUINING UR ENGLISH

[shriekingsnape.livejournal.com]

AMELIA: On the internet, "proper use of language" has an entirely different meaning.

No kidding. Netspeak has come far enough alond now that it can probably be considered at least its own dialect with all kinds of fun things like grammar.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Actually, I've been fascinated by internet dialects for years--the emoticons, the asterisk stage directions, the text games, and the wordplay are very interesting topics to me--I do a lot of term papers on that subject.

Once I tried explaining to my aunt that there's a dialect you use on the internet, and she asked me very seriously, "How do I go about learning it? Are there classes?"

I had to resist the urge to give her the LOLcats URL and say it was an online tutorial. I ALMOST DID.

[cjtremlett.livejournal.com]

*laughs* It so is an online tutorial for netspeak, though! If you spend enough time reading lolcats, you absorb it all!

[alexvdl.livejournal.com]

I'm a big fan of asterisk stage directions. *wanders about aimlessly*

[shadesofmauve]

*applauds*

[alexvdl.livejournal.com]

*soliliquoys*

[wyndfire.livejournal.com]

Or all your (something) are belong to us.

I IRC'd for far too long when I was younger, and I still have to watch myself when I type or I devolve into bad abbreviation habits (ppl = people, irl = in real life, etc) I know, I know, thats all "old school", but its deeply etched into my poor brain.

[viizou.livejournal.com]

The last time I visited my parents, my Dad was confused by the concept of a blogroll... I don't think he's ready for Netspeak.

I can has smileyz?

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

I admit to being a bit behind on L33tspeakisms, although I've gotten pretty fluent in MACROeese. I hate plain lousy language use (lack of capitalization or punctuation, sleazy misspellings like "lite" and "thru", even though I occasionally use them), but there really is a knack to stretching the language creatively.

And I love emoticons-- or at least, I did before all the IM programs started turning them into little 3-D smileys that somehow manage not to express the emotion as well as the punctuation marks! One of the oddest mental experiences I've ever had was when I caught myself drawing a smiley on a piece of paper-- only instead of a circle with eyes and mouth, I accidentally sketched a colon followed by a close-parenthesis! Totally blew my mind.

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

Most of my friend group verbalizes "WTF" and "OMG," much to the occasional puzzlement of the non-internets people. I have also picked up "LOL," pronounced "lohl," though I refuse to use it in text.

My husband and I also sometimes verbalize expressions, such as "shrug," "D face" (:D) or "A face" (o.oa). The internets has ruined my Emnglish forever. Or something.