Antifangirl

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I really like the term “antifan.” It’s become very useful in describing my relationship to things that I may find awful in and of themselves, but which make excellent snark fodder and may even be educational when you step back and analyze the badness and the people who embrace the badness. Take Left Behind, which is awful, but through Slacktivist I’ve become an antifan—I love the snark, the bad writing is almost inspiringly bad,* and it gives me some interesting insight into the subcultures of evangelical Christianity—all very useful for something so repulsive.

And then, of course, there’s the holy grail of antifandom.

What I’m saying is, I watched the New Moon Rifftrax last night. The only way to watch these movies, my friends, is with heavy snarking coming along for the ride.

The movie was predictably bad, what with the absence of acting and the nonsensical story and the director's bold choice to film the entire thing in what looked like Dirty Dishwater-O-Rama, not to mention everything Antifan Queen cleolinda discussed in her howlingly funny New Moon in 15 Minutes. At least, that’s what I was thinking as I watched complacently, right up until the bit at the end. I was just trying to figure out if that was supposed to be the climax and WAIT WHO INVITED COUNT FABULOUS?

Why didn’t anybody tell me about this guy? Right at the end we meet the leader of the vampires, played by Michael Sheen, and Sheen has apparently decided that a role like this calls for equal parts manic, campy, and fabulous. “Hell,” thinks Michael Sheen, flitting about in his fancy suit and giggling like a flattered coquette, “if none of these people is going to act, I will simply act enough for all of them!”

That is definitely my new favorite performance.

I also admit I kind of liked the bit with the tourists getting herded in to be bloodsucked, even though it doesn’t stand up to half a second’s idle thought.** So half a point for two minutes of cinema there, I guess. No matter what, it made me a lot more interested in the Volturi than the people I was just forced to watch for two hours.

Anyway, don’t watch New Moon without Rifftrax. But if you do get a chance, then by all means—the commentary is worth it to sit through the movie once.


*As in, “God, this writing is bad. I could do better without even trying. I think I’ll go do that now!”

**Screaming so soon? The tourists realized what was going on awfully fast. And as Bill pointed out, wouldn’t the authorities wise up and stop sending tourists into that castle if they never came out? And even if you’ve got corrupt local officials, wouldn’t the systematic slaughter of tourists get several countries involved? Also, the screams lose some of their impact when you try to picture just how this scene is going down. Go ahead, try it. It winds up being less horrific and more macabrely absurd.

Comments

[nobleplatypus]

I remember reading a quote of Michael Sheen--I really wish I could remember where--in which he said that he kind of wanted to be friends with the younger Twilight actors, but then thought, "I am too old; they will never be friends with me." I remember it so strongly because I thought, "I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND, MICHAEL SHEEN."

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

He seemed like the only interesting person in the entire production! I WILL BE HIS FRIEND AS WELL.

[nobleplatypus]

Shortly after posting this comment, I took a nap and dreamed that Michael Sheen and I were facebook friends and exchanging hilarious messages. Then I woke up and was disappointed.

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

wouldn’t the authorities wise up and stop sending tourists into that castle if they never came out?

Not necessarily. I live in a tourist town, and believe me, if there was some convenient place I could send them to never come back from, I would. A lot of folks around here have bumper stickers that read "If it's tourist season, why can't is shoot them?"

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Well, it's tempting, but can you imagine all the red tape?

[daiq.livejournal.com]

I love it when actors chew the scenery :D

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

oh god wasn't he amazing? Michael Sheen, I mean. Me and my then-not-GF drunkalonged that movie, he /was/ the best part.

[narnian-dreamer.livejournal.com]

In the book, it was implied that the tourists were sucked in by one of those roving guides who stand on street corners advertising spontaneous guided day-trips to historic places.

Those people actually do exist. If you go to the right part of NYC, every street corner will be filled with people shouting, "Purses, Prada, Gucchi, Coach" who, if you express interest, will take you into this warren of well-lit back rooms about a block away that are filled with designer knock-offs. Likewise, if you go to the right parts of Europe, there will be people with hand-written signs advertising 3-hour tours. I actually went on a ghost-walk in Prague like that.

Now, that doesn't explain why the large amounts of tourists going missing in Volterra have gone completely unnoticed, but it would be difficult to trace the disappearances back to that particular castle if the people hadn't really planned on going there.

[vogtalicious.livejournal.com]

Can you rent Rifftrax, or only buy it?

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

You can only buy the track itself, but then it's only about $2-4 depending on which one. (New Moon is $4.) You can always rent the DVD, or get it from the library ...