bloodyrosemccoy (
bloodyrosemccoy) wrote2009-11-20 08:02 pm
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Shroobular Boobular
Today’s installment of Ailments You Never Even Would Have Suspected Might Exist:
Athlete’s Boob.
Yes, it is yet another drawback to having boobs that florp down over the skin of one’s torso—apparently my sub-mammarian region is warm, moist environment capable of supporting life. Sort of like deep-sea vents, except instead of studying it to determine the myriad exciting ways life can support itself, I am trying to destroy the whole ecosystem with spray-on athlete’s foot powder,* because sometimes Science takes a back seat to OMGWTFKILLITBLARGH. If that doesn’t work I will have to move on to Plan B, which at this point involves that staple of all movies where you have to kill the alien life form: flamethrowers.
As you can imagine, I’m rather hoping Plan A works.
*The can says “Family Size,” which makes me kind of nervous, to be quite honest.
Athlete’s Boob.
Yes, it is yet another drawback to having boobs that florp down over the skin of one’s torso—apparently my sub-mammarian region is warm, moist environment capable of supporting life. Sort of like deep-sea vents, except instead of studying it to determine the myriad exciting ways life can support itself, I am trying to destroy the whole ecosystem with spray-on athlete’s foot powder,* because sometimes Science takes a back seat to OMGWTFKILLITBLARGH. If that doesn’t work I will have to move on to Plan B, which at this point involves that staple of all movies where you have to kill the alien life form: flamethrowers.
As you can imagine, I’m rather hoping Plan A works.
*The can says “Family Size,” which makes me kind of nervous, to be quite honest.
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Here's hoping you don't have to employ flamethrowers and/or napalm. :)
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Urea also helps (once I had it on my foot and the dr suggested soaking my foot in it), but... I think I'll save that suggestion after the vinegar/powder/athlete's spray, but BEFORE the flame throwers.
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::sigh:: I just wish my boobs were back where they used to be, instead of heading south for the winter. I did consider getting both nipples pierced and employing a chain around my neck, but that seemed a bit extreme.
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and a topical steroid.
Also, you can try showering/washing your bras with dandruff shampoo. It's antifungal
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0_o
D:!
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