I Got A Condition

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Finally picked up A Mango-Shaped Space by Wendy Mass—queenlyzard recommended it to me some time back as a YA novel about synesthesia, something I might, for obvious reasons,want to take a look at . I kept forgetting to look for it, but when I came across it while shelving books the other day, I seized it.

And, as with any book that portrays an experience that I can share, I have opinions. Starting with the cover.

I love this cover. I have never seen a book cover that was so surprisingly accurate and so infuriatingly wrong at the same time.



I’m not talking about the cover art, which is not very interesting, but about the letters at the top. I don’t know if it’s apparent on this image, but each letter has not only a specific color, but also a texture. The g even has purple spots. This is actually pretty true to what goes on in a synesthete’s head—letters do indeed have color and texture.*

However … it’s still overwhelmingly wrong.

I mean, in what crazy mixed-up backwards upside-down bizarro universe is the letter a YELLOW?

Seriously. Everyone knows it’s bright pink.

Don’t even get me started on that m. Good god.

Anyway, while the book has a nice enough plot of standard tweenage Journey Of Self-Discovery, I must admit the portrayal of The Synesthesia Experience felt—well, overdone. Granted, I’m only comparing to my own experience, but it is strange to see its process be so dramatic. Unlike the main character in this book, I had no traumatic school experiences involving ridicule by classmates and angry parent-teacher conferences; no fleeting fear that I was crazy; no carrying it as a deep dark secret; no real way it inhibited my life. I just remember it always being there, and finding out through a very short conversation** (so unremarkable that I don’t remember who it was with) that I might be unique, and then not really worrying about it or even giving it a second thought. Then I found an article that named it, and I got rather interested in it for a while because hey, who wouldn’t be interested in their own newly-discovered mutant power? It never would have occurred to me that it was a stigma of any sort, or something to fear.

And the badge on the cover saying that this book won the ALA Schneider Family Book Award, which honors the “artistic expression of the disability experience,” is just bizarre. When the hell has synesthesia ever been a disability? I mean, yes, it’s unusual, and yes, for some it can be distracting, and yes, it can give you strong opinions about really weird things. And, yes, every once in a while somebody reacts with slight hostility when you explain what it is.

That, my friends, is not a disability. You can’t say, straightfaced, that synesthesia is anything like those real disabilities, the ones people really have to work around. A synesthete can’t tell someone with, say, severe ataxic cerebral palsy “Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you’re going through with your disability, with the falling down and the speech problems and the writing problems and the morons who think you aren’t intelligent and so forth. Why, just the other day I saw a poster with the letters all mixed up, and it was mildly irritating.”

Hell, I don’t think synesthesia even counts as a condition. It’s pretty much a sensory bonus.

*ahem* Sorry. Sometimes I get a little annoyed with that sort of thinking.

But there were some moments that rang wonderfully true. For a non-synesthete, the author gives some pretty spot-on descriptions of the main character’s extremely specific sensations for the colors of graphemes, and there’s one great bit when a the synesthesia specialist asks the main character how she pictures the calendar year, and she says “Just like everybody else” and then launches into a long confused description of the year as a Ferris wheel that goes counterclockwise and falls over and god knows what else. And the way she feels totally attached to it, like it’s an important part of her, is great.

Mostly my response to the book is one you get when someone else describes something you’ve experienced, too—you want to tell your version of it. And it will probably help at least a few kids recognize their own synesthesia. Likeable, but not my usual style.


*And also 3-D depth, lighting, highlights, gender, personality, and location in space, but that’s hard to render on a book cover. And it’s not always, mind. Just for some.

**“You ever notice how letters and numbers have color?”
“... No.”
“Oh. It must just be me then.”

Comments

Hmm...

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

It seems to depend on the type and intensity of synaesthesia, whether it functions as an asset or a handicap. For some people it can be horribly, dangerously distracting. For others, it's just this cool thing that happens. Mine is usually an asset, only occasionally a distracting nuisance -- sometimes colors have a sound, or smells have a color, or flavors have a texture.

Re: Hmm...

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Research reports overwhelmingly that the vast majority of synesthetes see it as either neutral or advantageous. There are rare cases of sensory overload for very intense synesthesia, and a possible but unconfirmed connection to lessened spatial and/or mathematical awareness, but those are so far the only real downsides listed aside from lack of understanding by non-synesthetes.

And there are preferences influenced by synesthesia--I have a passionate dislike for the letter "c," for example--that make us a bit eccentric.

But describing it as a "disability"--something that impedes everyday functioning--is a stretch no matter what.

Re: Hmm...

[neintales.livejournal.com]

Wish I could say I had a good synesthesia reason for some of my odd letter dislikes.

I have no idea why I hate the letter f so much. Possibly it brought a crappy Sesame Street episode to me as a tot.

...Actually that's about the only letter I hate. I do have an unreasoning LOVE of the letters J, V, Q, and X however.

Except now that I think about it, the love may not be 'unreasoning' and might have to do with playing Scrabble a lot. Hrm.

Re: Hmm...

[firinel.livejournal.com]

that's how I've always felt myself, even saying so in my bio, but in psych class they truly did classify it as a disability. It lead me to believe that the intense sorts were A LOT more common than I later found out they really are.

[mfb.livejournal.com]

You are wrong. A is bright red

Disability?

[shadesofmauve]

Maybe I'm overly legalistic in that I like the Americans with Disabilities act definition, but when does Synesthesia qualify as "a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities"?

Except, of course, the major life activity of drawing the letter n in whatever color you're asked. :P

Re: Disability?

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Agreed--that's the definition I look at most strongly, too. But really, I even tried finagling the definition, and I still can't make synesthesia fit. I can't think of any way to count that as a disability, unless sound makes you feel BLINDING PAIN or something.

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

Letters and number dont' have color. Music has colors. Colors have tastes and smells. Textures sometimes have sound.

Everyone always just gets it wrong. *shakes head*

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

I met a synesthete out here who perceives sound as light and it actually does cause her problems, since the louder the noise is the brighter the light is. For example, she couldn't go to the fourth of july party because the fireworks would have given her sensory overload. D:

But yeah, I'd still call synesthesia a different way of being, rather than a true disability.

BRB, playing devil's advocate

[mfb.livejournal.com]

There are some deaf people (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deaf_community) who would like to talk with you.

Re: BRB, playing devil's advocate

[lookingforwater.livejournal.com]

I don't know what you're trying to say here.

[stormteller.livejournal.com]

How can you complain that their representation of the letters is wrong? Those associations are different for everyone. It's not really possible to represent them incorrectly.

Also, everything these days is a condition to the psychiatrical or medical mind. Even easily-changed things like Delayed Sleep-phase Syndrome.
The thing to realize about the word "condition" is that it isn't synonymous with the word "problem". It's more accurate to say it's synonymous with "trait". It's just an excessively rigorous way of keeping track of what kind of person you are.

Also also, I personally like the letter "c"- because it's for "cookie".

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

How can you complain that their representation of the letters is wrong? Those associations are different for everyone. It's not really possible to represent them incorrectly.

Psst...I think your sarcasmometer needs to be recalibrated

Also also, I personally like the letter "c"- because it's for "cookie".

That's good enough for me.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

*grin* You miss my point. That was the joke--synesthetes are notoriously dogmatic about their associations and will have sometimes heated, sometimes just mock-heated arguments about the colors. It baffled the leading expert on the subject at first, until he realized that, to a synesthete, saying the letter o is not red is like saying it's not round--it makes no sense.

We know that this cover isn't objectively wrong, but by god, you try telling our crossed wires that.

DSPS is also very difficult to treat, which is why it's different from jet lag. That's why it's defined as a syndrome. I still don't think it counts as a disability, but I find it a lot more difficult to work with than synesthesia.

Notice that I wasn't complaining about the word "condition." That's actually the one I prefer because it's the most neutral--although even then, it has taken on negative connotations in our normal registers. The thing that surprised me was that this book won an AWARD for portraying a DISABILITY. That seems pretty markedly crazy.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Metaquoted again!

BTW, I've been meaning to ask: does choice of font have any effect on what color your brain ascribes to letters? Do you get different colors for sans serif than you do for, say, German blackletter? Does lowercase a have the same color with or without a curl on top?

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Good question. *considers*

Not really, although some fonts bug me as being "out of character" for the letters. I always hated those puffy cardboard-cutout letters in kindergarten because they made the letters look clownish, and none of them liked that.

[mis-creation.livejournal.com]

Hi. I'm a random weird person who friended you because 1) I'm strangely fascinated with synaesthesia (probably because I have nothing that cool about me) and 2) You have a Daja doll with a gold hand! That is made of awesome!

...I'm not terribly good at commenting, so I probably won't be much bother. You just sound really interesting.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Hi, random person! I read your profile and got confused because for a minute I thought you were me. I am also a 23-year-old library worker trying to become a writer, so you can see where I might have gotten a little confused. I'd better friend you back just in case.

I'm glad you like Daja! I am a bit of a doll nerd, and when I saw a doll that would work for her I couldn't resist. (She also has her staff, one of her sisters, and TAMORA PIERCE'S APPROVAL OMG.) And it's always great to meet another fan of Circle of Magic!

[broken-moons.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm here through Metaquotes. Do you mind if I friend you? I like your sense of humour, and I'm a synesthete as well and I like to read about other synesthetes' experiences.

P.S. A is totally red, I can't believe you don't see it!
P.P.S. Well, it depends on how you pronounce it. In words like 'mango' it's also slightly blueish.

[linda-lupos.livejournal.com]

No it's not. It's more yellowy because the m is yellow and the n is orange so that affects the a!
G is blue and o is white so mango goes from a really warm orangy yellow to a sort of pale blue-ish. Kinda Greek, really. I don't get why you don't see that. :( ;)

Err, hi. Can I friend you too? Both of you?

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Why sure! New folks always welcome.

I honestly don't understand how people can see it as anything BUT pink. Y'all are WEIRD. ;)

[daiq.livejournal.com]

I read your journal since one of your previous metaquotings because i love the way you write - and i find this fascinating! It all suddenly makes sence...

And also hysterical, because i curse in my head about reading your stark white font on black background journal entries - reading as a Dyslexic in the Scotopic Sensitivity spectrum, your journal is dancing a jig and acting like a dervish every time i open it!

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear! ;) That would be tough. I like black-on-white because it's easier on the eyes, but I do have black-on-white comment pages here if you prefer it.

Glad you like my writing! Thanks!

[queenlyzard.livejournal.com]

This was the book that introduced me to the idea of synaesthesia, and I admit I loved it. While I agree that there was some over-dramatization, I can easily see a child having this problem-- not everyone is just ok with being labeled "different," particularly if it causes them trouble in school. And since the condition is so little-known, I can definitely see a child being ridiculed for insisting on the way she "sees" things.

I think that synaesthesia comes in a wide range, and can be everything from a definite asset to a disability (commanderd, for example, experiences tastes when she sees colors, and can find the wrong piece of artwork not only distracting but actually nausea-inducing). Most often, I suspect it's a little of both-- an oddity that helps out with memory but may make certain things confusing.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I think synesthesia can present a few difficulties, but in all the studies I've made of it I've never seen it referred to as a disability--in fact whenever it's discussed, the conclusion is that it is not definable as such. Quirks and nuisances aren't quite the same thing.

I saw the book and got all excited to read it, and you're right--it was mostly pretty good, and my experiences aren't quite the same as most kids as far as acceptance. But as mentioned, I can't really compare it to anyone else's but my own. Thanks for the recommendation!