Sorta Like Bullets

[bloodyrosemccoy]

I made a Customer Service Bingo card today and tacked it up in a somewhat unobtrusive spot behind my monitor. It does seem to add an element of interest to the job: “Great! I only need ‘This has been going on for some time and I’ve just about had it with you people’ to make Bingo!”

---

I am really liking this new definition of the word “porn,” where it means something like “things you can’t stop looking at,” “things that make you drool,” or, as gondolinchick01 put it, “any kind of sensory titillation.” If I were still in school I would write the hell out of a dissertation on it.

I’ve heard a few versions: there’s library porn, space porn, food porn.

Of course, searching for more examples may be a bit of a minefield, but hey—FOR SCIENCE.

---

Meanwhile, last night I had a Really Awesome idea for a short story. It even still looked semi-awesome when I woke up this morning, which is a good sign. On the other hand, I may be one of few people on Earth who find the thought of exploding cows awesome.

---

Also, it looks like I’m going to need a Halloween costume, after all. I wasn’t planning on it; I was thinking this year I would just dress up my dolls instead. (Damn those twins are gonna look cute.) But then I got involved with Jess's social circle again and suddenly I’m going to a party. So I’m going to take one of the costumes I was going to make the doll, and make it for me. Which means I have two options: I can either dye something I’ve already got a hideous slime green and then modify it, or buy more already-hideous-green fabric and haul it into my first day of sewing class with a reference photo and say, “I need to make this look like this by next Saturday!”

---

Urg. Too much time staring at the screen. Gotta rest my eyes.

Comments

[annotated_em]

*contributes* metafandom's had some interesting discussions about emo-porn lately.

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

On my home computer I have folders of pictures of cars and pictures of guitars labelled 'car porn' and 'guitar porn', if that counts?

This usage of 'porn' reminds me of how, at uni, someone who has written a particularly interesting paper is your 'intellectual crush'. This gets disturbing when you realise suddenly that your intellectual crush is 65.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Totally counts!

I am careless with the use of the term "crush." I use it for anything that strikes my fancy, from a fascinating historical personage to someone I really want to be friends with. Sometimes I'll clarify with a hyphen ("friend-crush"), but that's only when someone looks at me funny. (So ... often, I guess.)

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Crush is one of those terms that I will generally throw around with gay abandon, but occasionally I actually *think* about how I just used it and then I get a brain-fuse... for instance, I have a tendency to get terrible crushes on fictional characters, as in they just seize my brain and demand I write fanfic about them, but actually *calling* them crushes gets awkward - for instance, my current fanfic crush is on Edmund Pevensie. Who is, like, ten.

[kittikattie.livejournal.com]

But I thought you heard of the AG Porn for Girls in the old catalogues where you'd open the page and BAM 18 inches of dolly glory that made little girls squirm?

[kadharonon.livejournal.com]

...Library Porn.

Oh, yes, show me your sweet classifications and your ancient filthy books. You know how I like it, libraries.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

I hadn't heard it called that, but HOT DAMN those centerfold-like images. I think I've still got the Addy Debuts catalogue under my bed somewhere.

I honestly do remember the beady-eyed glee with which I would endlessly go through those catalogues and read every damn word of the product descriptions. TOTAL PORN.

[fenmere.livejournal.com]

Seven or so years ago, Wired Magazine did an article on something the writer called "Time Porn," which was what he used to describe shows like Friends and Seinfeld where the characters seem to have more free time than humanly possible.

In theory, these shows appeal to an overworked populace that dreams of being able to hang out in coffeeshops and say witty things at each other all day.

Thing is, for pretty much most of my life, by that definition I've been a time porn star. Particularly since I've written about my exploits in time wasting in my comic and gotten paid for it...

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

My mother calls glossy house-beautiful magazines and decorator/architecture books "house porn."

[10cents.livejournal.com]

Dude, anyone who doesn't like the idea of exploding cows takes life too seriously. Please write the story--I'LL read it and giggle madly at it, even if no one else does.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's a somewhat serious story about an alien coming to terms with the death of a loved one, the circumstances of which raise some tough ethical questions about nature versus technology and our responsibility toward the life around us. He grows to understand how in all things, the good is mixed with the bad.

And then his cow explodes.

So, you know. Best of both worlds, I guess.

[westrider.livejournal.com]

I'm too tired to hunt up the link, but about a year and a half ago, I came up with the concept of Competence Porn. It would be videos with production quality and soundtracks and overall feel much like regular Porn, but it would just be footage of people doing their jobs really well. I still think that massive competence is pretty much the biggest aphrodisiac possible.

Also, Cheapass Games made a game about Exploding Cows. Well, it's actually called Unexploded Cow, but my understanding is that most of them blow up over the course of the game.

[10cents.livejournal.com]

It still sounds awesome, and, uh, knowing me I'd probably laugh anyway.

...what? That's perfectly normal! :P

[pixel39.livejournal.com]

If I remember I will see if I can find the exploding cows video. There are lots of people around here who like the idea of exploding cows.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Exploding cows? How about exploding whales! YouTube is your friend.

Did somebody mention totally awesome guitars?

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Permission to metaquote?

[(Anonymous)]

Sure! (This is me stealth-blogging from work ...)

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Done!

Re: Did somebody mention totally awesome guitars?

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

WANT

I mean, I play a Fender Jag which is freaking gorgeous, but I think *that* pic gets to go in the porn folder too :D

Re: Did somebody mention totally awesome guitars?

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Wait'll you get a load of this one:



It's got a plasma lamp built in that lights up when the guitar is switched on! How cool is that?

This one has a sweet pickguard too:



I got more where those come from too, but they aren't uploaded.

Re: Did somebody mention totally awesome guitars?

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Oooooooh.

Where did you *get* all this prettiness?

Re: Did somebody mention totally awesome guitars?

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

Mostly 4chan's music board. I haven't been there in a while, but sometimes they have threads where people post pictures of wacky guitars.

Re: Did somebody mention totally awesome guitars?

[agenttrojie.livejournal.com]

Awesomebix. We have a luthier in my city who makes gorgeous custom guitars and basses ... whenever The Boy and I take things down to him to get them periodically fixed (the problem with having a big collection is that the maintenance piles up on you) we end up getting sidetracked ... for hours.