bloodyrosemccoy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bloodyrosemccoy) wrote2009-09-25 04:22 am
bloodyrosemccoy) wrote2009-09-25 04:22 am
Entry tags:
At Least It's Never Lupus
Okay, so the Health Center doctors back in Oregon were assembly-line sorts, and the doctor I tried here doesn’t even listen to my concerns about my various and sundry endocrinal issues.*
So I went to a new doctor to inform her that, to put it succinctly, Every Last Inch Of Me’s Covered With Hair.
“Your chin, too?” she asked.
“Well, okay, no, fortunately. That’s where the horrible volcanic acne THEY TOLD ME WOULD GO AWAY IN COLLEGE lives.”
“I see. But you do have rather a lot of hair?”
“Does the phrase ‘boar-bristle thighs’ suggest anything?”
She nodded thoughtfully. “Well, that sure sounds PCOS-ish. How about your periods?”
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to tell you. I think my uterus fell out with the last one, so I may not have to worry about them anymore.”
“Heavy flow, then. I see. And I am noticing something else as I watch you talk here. Is that your thyroid, or are you hosting an errant chestburster?”**
So I may wind up going to see an endocrinologist, but at least we’re doing something. I have to go take about fifty lab tests to find out, though. She went through a litany for the receptionist to order.
“… and a fasting insulin test. Oh, and we should check her glands.”
“Which glands?”
“ALL her glands.”
“And remember,” she added sternly to me, “exercise and sensible diet.”
“Very well. My days of wanton cake consumption are coming to an end.”
“Oh,” she said, “and we can fix the hair thing for you, if you’d like.”
“I will consider it. But honestly, it gives me an excuse to wear long pants and men’s trunks, so I’m not gonna complain.”
I think this doctor may actually be paying attention, dudes. This could get interesting.
*Descriptions of PCOS read like a Cliff’s Notes version of my non-depression medical flaws. As far as I can make out, this dude took my description of the hair and the acne and the hypoglycemia and the cysts and the insane periods and arrived at the following conclusion: Another Hysterical Woman Type.
**Okay, doctors don’t actually say things like that, but wouldn’t it be great if they did?
So I went to a new doctor to inform her that, to put it succinctly, Every Last Inch Of Me’s Covered With Hair.
“Your chin, too?” she asked.
“Well, okay, no, fortunately. That’s where the horrible volcanic acne THEY TOLD ME WOULD GO AWAY IN COLLEGE lives.”
“I see. But you do have rather a lot of hair?”
“Does the phrase ‘boar-bristle thighs’ suggest anything?”
She nodded thoughtfully. “Well, that sure sounds PCOS-ish. How about your periods?”
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to tell you. I think my uterus fell out with the last one, so I may not have to worry about them anymore.”
“Heavy flow, then. I see. And I am noticing something else as I watch you talk here. Is that your thyroid, or are you hosting an errant chestburster?”**
So I may wind up going to see an endocrinologist, but at least we’re doing something. I have to go take about fifty lab tests to find out, though. She went through a litany for the receptionist to order.
“… and a fasting insulin test. Oh, and we should check her glands.”
“Which glands?”
“ALL her glands.”
“And remember,” she added sternly to me, “exercise and sensible diet.”
“Very well. My days of wanton cake consumption are coming to an end.”
“Oh,” she said, “and we can fix the hair thing for you, if you’d like.”
“I will consider it. But honestly, it gives me an excuse to wear long pants and men’s trunks, so I’m not gonna complain.”
I think this doctor may actually be paying attention, dudes. This could get interesting.
*Descriptions of PCOS read like a Cliff’s Notes version of my non-depression medical flaws. As far as I can make out, this dude took my description of the hair and the acne and the hypoglycemia and the cysts and the insane periods and arrived at the following conclusion: Another Hysterical Woman Type.
**Okay, doctors don’t actually say things like that, but wouldn’t it be great if they did?
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