I was ten or so when I did something that bad. The disapproval I received then has stuck with me. I don't even remember what anyone else said, really - I just remember the sheer recognition of how horrible what I just did was, and ... well, I've got a pit in my chest now, just remembering it.

If she knows why what she said was wrong, if it was really just stupid, awful thoughtlessness, she'll remember what you said. I can speak to that.