Still doesn't work. It's done in classic "As you know, Bob" style. It would be like beginning every single brain surgery with one surgeon saying, "This would be a good time to review first-year neurology. As you know ..." and then recapping things you learn in elementary school--in a way the other surgeon has memorized.
I notice it because I really wrestle with exposition myself (clumsy exposition runs rampant in all of the early drafts I write; I wind up paring it down later). And James White is the MASTER OF THEM ALL at doing it awkwardly.
(Of course, science fiction presents even more of a problem with exposition, too, since things we would take for granted cannot be taken for granted in the world, and things THEY take for granted need to be explained. Mark Rosenfelder wrote a pretty funny parody of that: If All Stories Were Written Like Science Fiction Stories. Cracks me up every time.)
Re: Thoughts
I notice it because I really wrestle with exposition myself (clumsy exposition runs rampant in all of the early drafts I write; I wind up paring it down later). And James White is the MASTER OF THEM ALL at doing it awkwardly.
(Of course, science fiction presents even more of a problem with exposition, too, since things we would take for granted cannot be taken for granted in the world, and things THEY take for granted need to be explained. Mark Rosenfelder wrote a pretty funny parody of that: If All Stories Were Written Like Science Fiction Stories. Cracks me up every time.)