The Grurple Mood Hat

Independence Day (U.S.)

National Country Music Day

Sidewalk Egg Frying Day

 

So I have this hat.

 

It’s a really snazzy hat, if I do say so myself. You’ve seen it. It’s in my default icon*—this velveteen number that may or may not be a Greek cap, but which I always thought looked like Super Mario’s classic headwear and your standard formal military hat made beautiful music together. My aunt gave it to me for my birthday last year, and ever since then I’ve been wearing it often—something I only did in the past with this battered leather Australian Outback hat. It is, truly, awesome.

 

And I mean awesome not only in the sense of “awesome like a hot dog,” but also in the sense of “awesome like a hundred billion hot dogs.” Because this hat has a power the likes of which you can’t even begin to dream of.

 

This hat can change color.

 

The mechanism is a very simple one, so simple that I’m surprised more people don’t figure it out. It’s like the magicians say, they miss the obvious possibility, and people groan when they find out how it works. But I will reveal to you, now, how this hat changes color.

 

It’s actually two different hats. They’re identical in every way, except that one is dark green and the other is dark purple. Sometimes I wear the purple one. Sometimes I wear the green one.

 

Easy.

 

But for some reason, every single time I wear one hat in front of someone, and then later I wear the other, it totally BLOWS THEIR MIND. They squint at my hat, stare at it, and finally, tentatively, they point at it with trembling hand.

 

“Didn’t that used to be green/purple?” they ask, sometimes with real terror in their voice.

 

“It is a mood hat,” I reply. “It changes color to reflect how I’m feeling.”

 

For a moment they believe me. Then they realize that that is ridiculous, and I explain I have two, and they feel better for having solved the Mystery of the Mood Hat. And then I go on to find the next hapless victim.

 

Somehow, though, the hats have become interchangeable in my head, and on it as well. I refer to them collectively as “my mood hat” now. They are a single unit, which can change color. And so the strange psychological phenomenon continues.

 

The people at Can I Offer You A Coke, where I work, were the latest to have their minds blown. At least I’m consistent. But the best bit is that they let me wear it! How awesome is that?

 

I’ll tell you how awesome it is. It’s as awesome as a hundred billion hot dogs. The Mood Hat continues its reign!

*Drawn, as I am fond of noting, by the ever-brilliant Emily.

(no subject)

I realize it’s a bit expensive, but I feel strongly that everybody should buy this stuff. It's pretty, fun to wear, and it does these people a favor, too!

Egg!

A Snag

If I could sum up every one of my science fiction ideas, in one sentence, the sentence would be: “Poul Anderson already had it.”

 

Buggrit.

Quote of the Day

“You can see the fireworks at this park best from the shower in the master bedroom!”

 

Today’s quote brought to you by the unusual layout of my family’s Treehouse. You know how some people have to go places to see fireworks? We just step out onto the deck. Or look through the clear wall of the shower and the window next to it, which isn’t as detrimental to privacy as it might seem because everything is so far below it that you’d need a telescope to see back into it.* You can see fireworks from like eight different parks and whatnot all over the Salt Lake Valley.

 

You can hear them, too.  The cats have been cowering under chairs all night.  Poor gals. But you gotta admit, even though they’re supposed to represent bombs that kill people, fireworks are still awfully pretty.

 

 

*Note to stalkers: Even then, it would probably be more trouble than it’s worth.