Today's Inexplicable Commercial Jingle

[bloodyrosemccoy]

Memorial Day (Observed)
Prayer For Peace, Memorial Day
Slugs Return from Capistrano Day
Whitmonday (Christian)
Anniversary - Amnesty International
Day of the Republic (Azerbaijan)
National Day (Ethiopia)

 

Tonight a commercial ordered me to do the following: “Express yourself by asking your doctor about Botox cosmetics!”

 

There are a lot of inexplicable commercial comments out there, but this one was really special. But I will follow what the gods decree, so I have decided to ask my doctor about a cosmetic to stick poison in my face to change me so I'll live up to some arbitrary standard of beauty--through interpretive dance.

Honestly.  What the hell does that mean?!

 

Also, you know what kind of commercials shouldn’t get raunchy late at night? DEODORANT COMMERCIALS, THAT’S WHAT KIND. Axe and Tag and those other men’s deodorants are dreadful and misogynistic enough in the day time, but at night they’re like one step away from softcore porn.* It’s bizarre.

 

 

*Except softcore porn is a lot funnier.  I really wish Mike, Crow, and Servo would riff one of those movies.

Comments

[die-monster.livejournal.com]

At least how nice you smell might in some way affect sexiness or something. What I don't get are the sexy Uncle Ben's Rice Bowl commercials. Yes, eat this frozen rice meal and WOMEN WILL APPEAR TO SCREW YOU ON THE COUNTER! Admittedly I might go for that, where it possible, but alas I'm wise to their tricks after switching to men's shave gel didn't convince supermodels to appear in my bathroom and stroke my recently shaven legs and armpits.

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

True, but I don't eat breakfast from Burger King just in case commercials do come true.