Nothin' But Zelda

So true.

The targeting is useful, yes. But I could do without her HOLLERING at me every few minutes while I go get me the Biggoron sword or go on a wild Poe chase.* For all they gave her attitude, Tatl’s much less of a nag. Another tally mark in Majora’s Mask’s favor.

In other news SKYWARD SWORD WANT BUT DAMMIT MUST WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS. Fortunately, I finally scored copies of the old LoZ Oracle games to play through while I wait--I always wanted to try those but never got around to it. I don’t get as immersed in the top-down 2D ones, but hey, they’re still fun.

Now if only I could find that old raspberry-pink brick that was my GameBoy Color. The GBA works fine, but I liked that eye-searing monstrosity.

I keep cruising the Zelda wikis (yes, there are two, and I hope they have knockdown dragouts) because the theories are fascinating. The end of Ocarina of Time always pissed me off because it made no sense, but the idea that it in fact has two endings splitting off down either leg of the Trousers of Time really resolves a lot.** I’m totally fine with the “Just a legend” theory, too--ask me sometime about my theory regarding superheroes and retellings!--but that still left OoT maddeningly unresolved. This clears it up nicely.

(Others do seem to share my theory that Telma is part Gerudo. Nobody is willing to share the idea idea that the Oocca are in fact horrible chicken-body-stealing parasites, though. That theory is just TOO COOL.)


*This playthrough marks the first time I actually kicked the ass of all the Big Poes and got the fourth freakin’ Empty Bottle. I think I’ve officially done EVERYTHING IN THAT GAME now.

**Also, I like that fans refer to the timeline including the dark Majora’s Mask and the sweeping Twilight Princess as the “child timeline” and the one including all the Toon Link games as the “adult timeline,” because that seems so counterintuitive.

As Long As I'm Spammin'

Critics' Corner: Why Do Still We Love the Muppets After All These Years?

Silly question, really. But Grae and Dave, who are extremely entertaining reviewers, answer it well. (“Animal teaches you how to be awesome on every level, and Sweetums teaches you to be comfortable in the background doing nothing and not freaking out about it, just being chill.” “And the Swedish Chef teaches you how to put the gobbley in da pot.” “These are all important lessons.”)

But they hit on the best thing about the Muppets—they are warmhearted without being one-dimensional; they’re friendly but intelligent and even wicked. Hell, that even crossed over to Sesame Street. It takes some genius to do that.

Also, they made one of the best versions of A Christmas Carol in history. I’m always amazed at how much of Dickens’s excellent prose they got to wedge in thanks to the Great Gonzo. Not a lot of versions are that good.